Daddy!
by BonclaysFan
Summary: During an easy mission a young girl decides that Naruto would make a great "Daddy" for her. Chapter 18 up. Chapter 1 revised.
1. Prologue

"Daddy"

A/N: It's been a while since I've worked on this story. Just today in fact I went back to start working on it again. In order to get back in the right mood-set I started to reread the first chapters and by all that is fluffy I found errors. Many many errors. So I decided to rewrite the earlier chapters. Don't worry loyal, and not so loyal, fans! Another chapter should be coming within the next month. Hopefully.

XXXxxxXXXxxx

Uzumaki Naruto was a shinobi from Konohagakaru. As such he was doing a mission with his team. Much to his dismay however this particular mission was just to retrieve laundry for a client who had sent their laundry to another small town in order to avoid the prices. His sensei Hatake Kakashi was nowhere to be found. He claimed he was scouting the area for enemies but Naruto knew a lie when he saw it. Haruno Sakura had won a coin flip earlier and as such was out enjoying herself shopping while Naruto was forced to watch over the infernal machines.

After returning from his three-year training trip with the Toad Sage Jiraiya the 15 year old blond had been literally jumping with joy at the thought of a mission. His enthusiasm dampened when he was informed as to what mission his jounin sensei had accepted. However he needed the funds so he tolerated the idea.

"This mission is so boooring." The young man sighed to himself "All I do is just sit here for twenty minutes until the laundry dries. Why did they need a ninja for that! I mean anyone could do it! I should be out fighting bad guys and… Hold on a second… Was it twenty and forty? Maybe sixty?" just to make sure the young man decided that he would check back every five or so seconds to ensure that the laundry didn't catch fire. After around ten seconds he grew even more bored. He hated waiting more than almost anything.

A short distance away from the blond sat a little girl no older than seven. She was wearing a dirty purple kimono that looked as though it had been thrown out before reaching its current owner. The kimono was very simple and appeared to have lilies on it. It's former beauty was obvious to any who looked. The girl wore a small flower in her hair which complimented her pale skin and large blue eyes. The flower was nestled between her left ear and her long dark brown hair. One couldn't be sure of her natural hair color however as it appeared as though it hadn't been washed in a few years. This girl seemed utterly transfixed on the blond. She had never seen someone get so impatient with an inanimate object. "What's he doing?" She asked herself as she watched him make a weird symbol with his hands.

"Kage Bunshin No Jutsu!" Naruto exclaimed loudly, which unknown to him caused the girl to jump, as three clones popped into existence with only a light smoke screen to mask their entrance. "Alright you two I need you to go and find the following things." He started marking off what he wanted as the two clones nodded.

The little girl stood wide eyed as she stared at the sight before her 'How did he make himself into more people?' Her mind whirled with activity as she considered every possibility 'He could be a magician. But then why isn't he wearing a hat and why didn't he use a wand? Okay so maybe he's a fairy? Wait no…. He's too big for that. Is he a god? No… He's too young for that… Maybe… no… he couldn't be a… ninja… could he? No of course not!' the little girl chuckled to herself a little 'Ninjas are just myths. Just jokes that people tell each other about.' Still the longer she considered the possibility of him being a ninja was oddly tempting. 'If he's a ninja he'll have money… right?'

"Naruto-Baka!" A voice screamed from outside the building. The girl quickly turned to face the newcomer to the Laundromat. What she saw scared her. A large menacing ogress that stood two hundred feet tall. She possessed three eyes situated below her bloody white hair.

In reality it was just Haruno Sakura yelling at Naruto however to the young girls mind she was every bit as fearsome as the most powerful demon. "We told you not to use jutsu didn't we!" The ogress bellowed to the heaven sending three of the four into oblivion before flinging the other to the gates of hell. What actually happened was Sakura destroyed the clones before knocking Naruto into one of the machines. "We don't need to draw any attention to ourselves! You heard what Kakashi-sensei said!"

"Sorry Sakura-Chan." Naruto said rubbing a bump that had formed on his head from hitting the machine.

"Whatever baka. We should get out of here. The laundry's done. I still can't believe we got stuck with this mission." Sakura mumbled to herself as she prepared the clothes for travel.

The little girl stood and followed them at a distance, ducking behind trees and other obstructions to avoid being seen, until they met up with a third man. 'He must be at least three hundred years old!' the girl thought to herself observing the man 'He could be a god.' She considered 'He even has a book. Maybe that's where he keeps the names of those he steals from the earth?' her imagination kicked into overdrive as she easily confirmed her theory 'Yeah! That makes sense! Those two are probably Death's assistants!'

"Ready to leave Naruto?" Hatake Kakashi asked his pupil as he pocketed his Icha Icha Paradise book into his shuriken holder. He was staring past Naruto and Sakura directly at the little girl. 'She's well hidden for a civilian. An academy student could have done better. But for someone so young and with so little experience she certainly picked a good location.' He thought to himself as Naruto answered him.

"Yeah I can't wait!" The blond bellowed. His eagerness to finish this mission could practically be physically felt.

"Alright, we'll leave as soon as we finish up one more lose end." The cycloptic ninja replied.

"Loose end?" Sakura asked curiously knowing that they had fulfilled all mission requirements.

"You can come out now little girl." Was all he said as he pointed to the bush that housed the young girl. His action caused the two others to look over to the bush and finally notice the little girl.

'It's now or never.' She said as she stumbled from the bush to stand before the divine creatures in front of her putting on the most determined face she could muster. "You!" she shouted pointing at Naruto "My name is Hana… and you are… my new daddy!"

XXXxxxXXX

A/N: This is the new and improved [hopefully] prologue chapter to "Daddy!" I hope you enjoyed it and feel free to leave any criticism or compliments you want. I can take harsh criticism. Just try to make it constructive. See you next time.


	2. I don't have kids

"I don't have kids!"

A/N Well...I thought a lot less people would review this...15 reviews in less than one day...I was shocked...I thought it would take at least a month to get even two...but since you guys liked it so much I just couldn't help but putting a little effort into starting to write this chapter...I'll answer reviews at the end since I had gotten so many.

Naruto just stared at the little girl. He stared and stared. He stared the longest he'd stared at anything before, so around nine seconds. "Me?" He asked pointing to himself.

"Yeah you're my daddy" Hana said smiling taking his actions to mean he had accepted.

"Um...I decline." The blond stated turning around.

"Naruto, I don't think she was offering." Kakashi stated. The little girl reminded him of someone. He couldn't place it but she was like someone he knew.

"Yeah the old man is right!" Hana shouted pointing at Kakashi.

"I'm not old." Kakashi muttered weakly. No one had called him the "O" word before. Ever. That was why he hung around with Gai, it made him feel young [which he was but after all once he got old Gai would start challenging him to prune juice drinking contests, and Kakashi didn't want that]

"But you have white hair mister." Hana said walking slowly towards the Hatake. As if to prove a point she pointed at it.

"It's silver" Kakashi said.

"Looks white to me" Hana stated.

"Silver"

"White"

"Silver"

"White!"

"Silver"

"Daddy tell him it's... Daddy?" Hana said. Naruto was no where in sight.

"Naruto tell her it's...Naruto?" Kakashi said a little more calmly. He didn't notice that his current favorite had left [come on you know that his new favorite's not Sakura]

Nearby in a bush. 'These two are insane, I can't take care of a kid, I can barely take care of myself...scratch that I can take care of myself perfectly I just can't take care of women.' Naruto thought as he watched them look for him to settle the argument.

**"Got that right Kit" the kyuubi said in Naruto's mind.**

'What do you mean by that Baka-fox!' Naruto nearly said aloud

**"Face it if people didn't tell you who the girls were you'd think they were men" Kyuubi continued.**

'That's not true' Naruto defended himself

**"Prove it. Name all the girls in your age group." Kyuubi chuckled.**

'Um...Sakura, Ino...that's it." Naruto thought. Though those were the only two he could think of he knew that he had talked to at least one more.

**"Wrong kit. However you're taking care of that kid" Kyuubi stated seriously.**

'Why?' Naruto yelled in his mind wondering why the fox would care at all.

**"Look at her. She's obviously poor. There'd be no harm in letting her go back to your village" said the Kyuubi 'plus I've always wanted a kit.' he thought**

'Really?' Naruto didn't think she looked poor, just, dirty. [amazing how he didn't put those two together huh?]

**"I tire of this conversation, you're adopting the girl" Kyuubi said sending a blast of demonic chakra through Naruto alerting Kakashi of Naruto's location.**

"Ahhh! Baka-Fox" Naruto yelled, alerting the other two [Sakura and Hana] to his presence.

"There you are Naruto, now..." Kakashi began but never finished as a blur ran past him.

Naruto didn't know what happened that second. First Kakashi was talking to him then he got tackled by a bear. He looked down at the small creature.

"Daddy I thought I'd lost you forever and ever and ever and ever and ever" Hana said near tears.

"I'm not your dad!" Naruto shouted.

"...you...are...my...daddy" Hana stated looking at Naruto as an adult looks at a child who just stole a cookie from the jar.

"Naruto, just level with her. Hana was it...You seem to be lost...so how about we help you find your parents." Sakura said putting in her two cents.

"Yeah!" Naruto shouted.

"..." Kakashi remained silent. The girl's eyes which were bright with joy just five seconds ago were now dull with despair. "What happened?" The elder shinobi asked.

"Huh?" Naruto and Sakura both said at the same time. This girl was just running away from home, right?

"To who" Hana asked quitely.

"Your parents." the Hatake asked quitely.

"They're...not here." The girl said in a small voice. A tear seemed to slide down her cheek.

"Oh." Naruto and Sakura both said quitely.

"But that's okay now cause I got me a new Daddy!" Hana shouted into the heavens.

Kakashi sweat dropped. He remembered now who the girl reminded him of, Gai, He really had thought that Gai was the only person who could bounce back from such a sad event so fast.

"So when do we leave grandpa?" Hana asked Kakashi. Her eyes looked so happy that he couldn't tell her that he wasn't old enough to be a grand dad.

"Right away. We're going to a shinobi village so don't get too excited." Kakashi stated trying to sound sage-like [hey someone had to]

"Yeah right Shinobi aren't real." Hana said as if she had just said that air was good.

"...Uh huh. Yes they are" Kakakshi said. 'She really is weird.' he thought.

"Daddy tell him that ninja aren't real" Hana pleaded.

"Actually Hana...We're all shinobi" Sakura stated. She'd remained quite throughout this episode because it was really funny to watch Kakashi argue with a little girl.

"Nuh uh. There's no such thing. They can't be real, if they were Mommy would be alive." Hana said looking as though she was going to cry.

"Hana, shinobi can't be everywhere at once." Naruto said.

"...Okay Daddy if you say so then they must be real!" Hana yelled.

"Um...we've wasted about an hour on this so can we please go back to the village" Sakura stated. No one seemed to go back to konoha for some reason 'They like the little girl is why CHA!' Inner Sakura pointed out.

"Sakura is right Naruto. Come on Hana" Kakashi said walking down the dirt road that lead to Konoha.

"Yeah lets go Daddy" Hana said jumping up on Naruto's back from a rock. They all started heading down the road.

Nearby the cries of "it's white" and "It's silver" could be heard with increasing vigor.

A/N Again wow. 15 reviews 10 faves and 15 alerts. I'm suprised this was so well recieved. This is just to give a bit more of Hana's personality.


	3. Into Konoha

"Welcome to Konoha"

A/N: Last time you people caught me by surprise with fifteen reviews in less than a day...I'm still blown away… Anyway please enjoy. If I may [and I will] put in my own opinion on Kakashi's hair. It's silver

"Hey whitey when are we getting to konaho?" Hana asked while still riding on poor Naruto's back.

"It's SILVER and it's Konaha, and we'll be arriving in about three minutes" Kakashi stated angrily [who could have guess He'd get annoyed?].

The whole trip had been like that. Even though they were only an hour away at ninja speed they had to slow down for Hana, who Naruto still wasn't sure about adopting. The first half had been spent arguing about Kakashi's hair color [Sakura and Kakashi said it was silver while Hana stuck with it being white, Naruto was busy trying not to fall over with the little girl on his back] the third quarter of the trip was spent with Hana asking question after question about ninja's [this discussion stopped after Naruto had collapsed from the extra weight] and they were nearing the end right now.

"Kakashi-sensei...please...get her...off" Naruto pleaded the older man.

"Daddy, do you want me to get off?" Hana asked

"Yes...please...I'll do anything." Naruto begged.

"Then get me food when we get to ninja town" Hana demanded.

"Food? Ichiraku, of course!" Naruto yelled, revitalized with the thought of ramen he broke into a quick jog.

"Naruto, slow down." Sakura yelled as she started to run too.

In the village things were calm. It was a slow day for visitors and shinobi alike.

"Hinata, you should really stop staring out the window and focus on my lesson" Hiashi Hyuuga stated.

"Y-yes father" Hinata said bowing as she redirected her attention on her dad. Today was a special day for Hinata, the day that she would finally confess to Naruto. Her dad babbled on and on about how to control chakra during a jyuuken strike.

"Yes then you, bubbles in the lunitic's soapbox are tasty treats...Wouldn't you agree Hinata?" Hiashi asked his daughter.

"H-hai father" Hinata said still not paying attention in the least.

"Eh...I was afraid of this." Hiashi said "Hinata!" He shouted loudly "If this is how you're going to act as an heiress I'll have to put the caged bird seal on you. I don't want to but I must uphold the honor of the clan. That is all for today dismissed. Remember I will expect you to work twice as hard tomorrow" Hiashi said [come on every father loves their children, Hiashi just has to look out for a bunch of other people too]

"H-hai father s-sorry" Hinata stuttered as she ran out of the training room. She had a lot to do if she was going to confess.

"Hinata-Sama are you going somewhere" Neji Hyuuga asked his cousin as she rushed towards the door.

"N-n-no Neji-nii-san" Hinata stuttered before nearly running through the door.

"If that is the power of the main branch than I have to worry." Neji stated before going off to do, Neji-things.

Ichiraku ramen. Famed hangout of Uzumaki, Naruto. Highest number of bowls eaten in one sitting: 134 large...Fastest bowl of ramen eaten: 30 seconds...both records achieved by Uzumaki, Naruto.

"Daddy are you sure this place is good?" Hana asked as she looked at her dirty kimono.

"Hana, this place is where the heavens said 'I can do no better than this' even the most vile person in the world wouldn't hurt this institution, I spend most of my money here so please do not insult this place, ever" Naruto said sounding rather, intelligent.

"What can I get you...Naruto, who is she?" Teuchi [Old man Ichiraku A.K.A. Ramen Chef] asked looking at Hana.

"Well..." Naruto started.

"He's my Daddy." Hana said with a proud look on her face.

"...So...who's...the mom?" Teuchi asked disbelief spread all over his aged face the girl looked about six to seven years old at least and that would have meant that Naruto impregnated someone when he was nine, and as far as Teuchi knew this was impossible.

"She's adopted...well more like she adopted me." Naruto said as he explained the situation to Teuchi and Ayame [Teuchi's Daughter].

"Yeah just like that" Hana said.

"Well as congratulations how about the first two bowls are on the house" Teuchi said.

"I can't climb though." Hana whined thinking the first two bowls really were on the building's roof.

"I mean the first two bowls are free. One for you and one for your dad." Teuchi stated looking at the girl.

"Free ramen? Thanks old man" Naruto and Hana said at the same time.

"Here you go" Teuchi proclaimed setting two bowls of ramen "It's a new recipe, please try it"

"Okay" They said in tandem.

The following incident would shock anyone who had ever entered Ichiraku, or heard of it, or anyone who knew Naruto [or anyone who knew anything of human anatomy for that matter].

"Done"

"Wow Naruto it must have...Naruto?" Teuchi asked. Sitting there with an empty bowl was Hana. Naruto was still eating oblivious that his record had been broken by fifteen seconds.

"Can I have more?" Hana asked. She didn't get a lot to eat since it happened but this was the good. She really hoped she could have more.

"Um...Because of the rule yes. You do get more." Teuchi said. The rule being that anyone who broke a record got one free bowl of ramen and a discount on every other bowl they ordered a small rule but hey a lot of people gave it a shot. Many failed.

"Yay!" Hana yelled.

"Done!" Naruto yelled setting his bowl down he looked over to Hana who was smiling at him. He then noticed that she was already done. 'She didn't beat me, She just put her bowl down first' Naruto thought frantically in denial.

Approximately five minutes earlier Hinata was walking towards Ichiraku. She'd already checked with Tsunade to see if Naruto was back from his mission. When Tsunade said yes Hinata nearly ran out of the office towards Ichiraku. As she approached the institution she thought 'There's Naruto-kun and...and? There shouldn't be an and, no and, no and, there's never an and, ever' she thought of the several thousand other times she had seen him in the shop and none of them showed any recollection of another person there ever. 'Calm down Hinata, maybe it's a guy' She thought in a last ditch attempt of calming herself. This thought however flew out the window when she noticed the flowery kimono. 'It's just a friendly date then' She screamed in her head 'It has to be'. She noticed that Naruto lean over closer to kiss the girl [She didn't notice that the "Girl" was only around the age of seven and that Naruto was just looking into Hana's bowl though. Panicking people often don't notice small details like this.]

'So he's got a date...' Hinata took this better than she thought she would. 'Fine if I can't have him...no one can.' without any thought Hinata started to charge the ramen stand to put an end to this date She'd already planned out how to finish it quickly.

The flap flew back behind Naruto. "Huh?" was all he could mutter before he noticed a wide eyed Hinata in a jyuuken stance hand in mid-strike. "Oh hey Hinata...Are you trying to spar with me?" Naruto asked oblivious to the fact that if Hana hadn't turned around they would all three have been dead in a matter of seconds.

'Oh it's just a little girl. A mere coincidence perhaps?' Hinata thought wondering. She spent a second like this before she remembered that she was about to kill Naruto.

"Hey Daddy why is the blind lady pointing at you...Why is she turning red...is she a tomato?" Hana asked.

'Daddy...?' this was Hinata's final thought of the hour, before she fell into Naruto. Unconscious, of course.

"Hinata!" Naruto said unprepared for this, also fell to the ground trying to push the unconscious girl off of him.

"Tomato is attacking Daddy! He's going to get crushed, then he's going to turn blue, then he's going to turn purple, then he's going to turn green..." Hana yelled running back and forth yelling that "Daddy" was going to turn every shade of the rainbow before being crushed to nothingness. [She was of course over exaggerating but little kids have such overactive imaginations]

"Don't panic Hana. Hinata's actually not that heavy" Naruto said lifting the unconscious girl off of himself. "Well we better take her to the hospital though." Naruto said thoughtfully.

"Yeah Daddy we need to get Hanita to the fospital!" Hana yelled smiling.

"Naruto I don't think that's necessary just take her home. Oh and I'm writing Uzumaki, Hana on the plaque I hope that's okay" Teuchi said 'Ah young love' He thought.

**'Ah young love' thought Kyuubi reminiscing.**

'Ah youthful love' Gai thought [He was bored so he decided to go look at the knowledgeable girl who had deduced Kakashi's hair was white. We all know that Gai thinks this. Don't deny it]

"If you say so old man" Naruto said picking Hinata up bridal style. "Let's go Hana. Oh and it's Hinata and Hospital."

A/N this is one of my most reviewed stories of which I am happy. Now to awnser reviews. Also I hope you like Hana. I'm starting to grow fond of her myself.

Onto reviews [Not awnsering anonymous reviews] :

**to biganime40: **While I enjoy you reviewing I do not approve of recreational drugs so please leave them out of any future reviews you may leave.

**to Darkness-Princess-Kit: **I'm glad you enjoyed the White/Silver thing many people have put in their two cents with it. Glad you liked the chapter.

**to uzukun7: **Kyuubi's reasons for wanting kids will be answered in later chapters.

**to unknownfox: **glad you are intrigued.

**to Naruhinafanboy: **I will get right on that. Everyone seems to like Hana.

**to Rose Tiger:** Glad you get it. And the romance will start this chapter not a lot but you gotta ease into it. To many people rush it.

**to TitanX7: **Pleased you liked it.

**to Soundless Steps: **I know it doesn't happen everyday which is why it happened here. I'll try. I don't get what you're trying to say with the P.S.

**to Kyuubi123: **Well I like Hana as well. and that's how I'm going to bring Hinata in.

**to Kisdota-The Freak Gamer: **You're name is a doozy to write. Well here's the next chapter.

**to Shinonigga: **Thanks for the compliment. And no problem I'm an old man even when I'm still this young.

**to JuMiKu: **Well I'm easing into Hana being in Konoha so just wait for everyone else. And you're right I have wanted to call Kakashi [and Gai] old just to see their reaction.

**to Phnxfyr1: **To bad you're going to have to wait for more. However I do have some magazines in the waiting room. Unfortunately they're all from forty years ago so they may be hard to read.

**to Warper: **I'm against you. It's SILVER. Hana's parents are still a secret even to me. Also I'm glad nothings OOC yet I haven't watched much Shipuuden. [1 episode...first episode] Glad your offer still stands I'm really considering it.

**to Kyuubi69assassin: **Well Now you've seen him get a child. and Here's the next chapter.

**to Tendolover: **Getting into the chuunin exam $15...Watching Naruto on Pay-per-view $2 [my friend is very picky about me getting on his computer]...Reading this fanfic to watch Kakashi and a kid argue...not priceless...pay up you cheap punks you all owe me $2 dollars...


	4. What a day!

He has a kid..."

A/N This is a Hinata focused chapter dealing with her discovery of Naruto's kid. Please enjoy.

Hinata was feeling weird. She felt like she was being...carried?. 'That's not right. What happend?' She asked herself 'I went to Ichiraku I was...I was going to kill Naruto! But something stopped me what was it?' She opened her eyes.

"Oh you're awake that's..." Naruto began. He never finished. She had fainted again.

"Daddy I think she's dead..." Hana said poking Hinata in the chest with a crooked stick.

"Stop that Hana. She's fine." Naruto stated brushing the stick off of Hinata.

Hinata was having a great dream. It involved her and Naruto in a lot of...well, let's just say that it made everything in Jiraiya's books look like innocent kisses on the cheek. [Fear the dark recesses of a shy person's mind]. If anyone had looked closely they would have noticed a slight nose-bleed on the "innocent" hyuuga's face.

"Here we are." Naruto said.

"A blind person's home?" Hana asked. Everyone had no eyes. A few of the Hyuuga's were staring at this point.

"No this is the Hyuuga's house" Naruto stated. Many of the Hyuuga's stopped staring.

"So it's all girls?" Hana asked noticing their long hair. Many angry glares were sent in her direction.

"No there are men here too" Naruto said noticing the stares.

"They all look weak compared to you, Daddy" Hana said happily. They were no longer staring it was more of a "Boy I wish I could kill that kid" Glare.

"Actually some of the strongest people in the village are from here" Naruto pointed out.

"Naruto, Why are you carrying my cousin?" Neji asked in a low voice.

"Ah! Blind lady is related to Tomato!" Hana screamed.

"...Give me that" Neji said taking Hinata from Naruto just as one would take a sack of dirt from someone they didn't like. "Take your...daughter and please leave before Hiashi-sama comes."

"Okay Neji" Naruto said. He was used to stares and he knew which ones meant death if you didn't "Vacate" The premises immediately. There were about one hundred of those sent at Hana at this point.

"Bye scary lady" Hana said happily.

Neji's eyebrow twitched in anger...rage, a more accurate term, as he walked to put Hinata into her room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX The next day

Hinata sat up groggily in her bed. 'What happened?' She wondered after such a good nights sleep [full of naughty dreams] Hinata felt ready to start her day. As soon as she remembered why she fainted. A few feet away from her on her dresser there was a note.

The note read 'Dear Hinata-sama...Naruto and his daughter came by the other day with you unconscious...so I put you in your room...signed Neji'

A blush ran to Hinata's cheeks. She'd been fantasizing about Naruto with Naruto nearby? 'I hope I didn't do anything' she thought.

By 11:00 she was at the training ground where her team met today was a slow training day lasting about half as long as a normal session. Today they were working on being able to spot one another. Shino had won a round and Kiba had won two. This time Hinata was going to win. Kurenai was sitting out because of her pregnancy. Hinata had spotted Shino and was about to call out when...

"Team come here" Kurenai shouted. Once they had assembled she continued "I was informed that Naruto has adopted a litte girl..."

'Adopted...' This made Hinata feel a great deal better.

"...And they're coming here so that Uzumaki, Hana can get a good idea on how shinobi work" Kurenai said.

Hinata's team mates took the news differently. Kiba was shouting about how awesome Naruto's daughter would find him, Shino by being...Shino, and Hinata, who panicked 'Oh no, oh no, this is going to end badly'

"Hey we're here." A voice cried out. Naruto was carrying Hana piggy-back again.

"Hey Baka" Kiba yelled towards Naruto.

"Shut up dog-breath" Naruto shouted right back.

"Please Kiba...His, daughter is present" Shino said.

"Hey mister you look cool" Hana said about a foot from Shino.

'Here we go again' Shino thought "Oh and is this cool?" He said releasing a torrent of bugs from his body. He knew how this went, she'd freak out and panic and avoid Shino forever. So predictable.

Hana's eyes went wide. "...That...is...the...coolest thing ever!" She yelled jumping up and down with excitement.

Anyone who wasn't there outright did not believe what happened next. Shino, yes THE Shino walked over to the little girl, got down on one knee and gave her a hug that would have made Gai proud. Just to recap Shino, knee, hug, girl. A single tear slid down his face "Thank you" then as if nothing happened he got back up and resumed his passive stance. [I'll explain my reason for doing this after being avoided for having bugs in him someone saying he's cool for it just made Shino's year.]

No one spoke for a few moments. "Okay team...I want Shino and Kiba to spar for Hana just some basic stuff okay...Hinata, Naruto go sit over there." Kurenai said slyly.

"B-b-b..." Hinata began but stopped after Naruto grabbed her hand and drug her over to the designated spot.

"Let's go Hinata. Hana's going to make them do big jutsu I just know it." Naruto said to the glowing Hinata [Honestly you could have cooked on that blush]

"S-s-so Naruto-kun...How's training going?" She asked blushing hard.

"Oh it's great I..." Naruto said as he began to ramble on about training.

'He hasn't let go. He hasn't let go...' Hinata thought over and over concentrating on the fact that Naruto was still holding her hand.

Over with Shino and Kiba. "Tsuuga" Kiba yelled spinning rapidly.

"Go Uncle Shino you can do it" Hana yelled from the sidelines as Shino dodged Kiba who kept spinning towards Naruto and Hinata unable to stop.

"Hinata! Move!" Naruto yelled diving to move Hinata out of the way as Kiba crashed into a tree.

"You okay Hinata?" Naruto asked.

"H..." Hinata fainted at this point noticing Naruto was close enough to kiss her...It didn't help that his hand had fallen on her chest during the fall.

"Daddy...You killed her...Oh my god she's dead she's dead. Daddy...Uncle...What do we . Help!" Hana started yelling running around all the while shouting "Help"

"Hana...She's fine...Just fainted." Shino stated calmly to the little girl placing a hand on her shoulder [Again no body believed this when Naruto told them]

"Really...Okay as long as Tomato is okay." Hana said.

"You just need to take her home Naruto." Kurenai said.

"Why me?" The blond asked

"Because you're the one feeling her up." Kurenai responded.

"Uh...It was an accident!" Naruto yelled blushing a little as he picked Hinata up bridal style to take her home.

"Bye Uncle Shino" Hana yelled waving over her back as she ran to catch up with her "Daddy".

"Man she must be really sick. Ah crap I must have hurt her." Naruto said.

"Nar...mmmm." Hinata muttered in her sleep as some blood seeped from her nose.

"Why?" Hana asked.

"Because her nose is bleeding" The blond said.

"Why?" Hana responded.

"Because she must have gotten hurt during the fall."

"Why?"

"...Because her nose is bleeding." Naruto restated.

"...Wh..." Hana began.

"Stop asking why I told you why!" Naruto yelled.

"Are we where scary lady lives yet?" Hana asked.

"Please call him Neji at least." Naruto said sweat dropping.

"So he's a...okama" Hana asked [Okama means transvestite]

"No! Don't call him that!" Naruto yelled in desperation.

"Naruto...What did you do this time" Neji said. This is why he hated guard duty. He always got the weirdos.

"Hey Okama!" Hana yelled happily.

"...Get out...Now" Neji said taking Hinata from Naruto and walking away angrily.

"Hana...We should go...now." Naruto said. He noticed that a few Hyuuga were sending VERY angry glares at them.

"Wh..."

"NOW!" Naruto said picking Hana up and ran quicker than Rock Lee out of there.

A/N I got a lot of reviews most ever for any of my stories. I'm going to stop answering directly to reviews for this reason I will however explain some things for the story.

Homicidal Hinata: She thought she had time after having all chances ripped away from her she decided to end it. Everyone has moments of insanity Hers just involved killing people.

Weird statement from Hiashi: He wasn't trying to be funny he was just saying non-sence to see if Hinata was paying attention.

Missed comma's: My comma button is broken so I sometimes miss that entirely...Sorry.

Hiashi's daughter count: He has 2 daughters and yes both will appear in this story.

Pairing: Just to recap this is a NarutoXHinata fic.

Reviews: Sorry I can't answer directly to your reviews. Hope you enjoyed the story.


	5. A day of fun and work Part 1

"A day of work and play"

A/N. For those of you who care...I'm thinking of a sorta actiony finale to the story. I'm not sure yet. Anyway on with the story. I'm going to point a few things out. 1. She found the Kimono in a trash bin. 2. I never read "Hey Daddy" or whatever I do however plan to investigate this.

This was the third day Hana was here. Naruto liked the girl, he really did but this was one thing he could do without. 'She keeps taking the blanket' He thought crying a little. They'd had to share a bed until Naruto could get her one. 'If only I had rich friends. I could get her a bed." Naruto muttered as he got up. He was overlooking the fact that he had three very rich friends [Konohamaru, Neji, and Hinata] although come to think of it at this point the last thing Neji wants to do is give Naruto money for Hana.

Hana opened her eyes as she felt Naruto get up. "Hey Daddy can I go around the village today?" Hana asked she really wanted to explore the village without Naruto. Just to get a feel for it

"Fine, just be here by six" Naruto said half asleep.

"Okay Daddy!" She yelled.

About five minutes after this happened Naruto's danger senses went off. He knew that he'd done something bad but couldn't place it. He took stock of everything around him and found nothing out of the ordinary.

**"Baka, The girl is missing!" Kyuubi yelled. He found the girl was the perfect "kid" for him. She was funny AND she bothered the crap out of Naruto. He'd always wanted a kid to teach, they brought joy to the world in there own special way. 'Not that I'd tell anyone I thought that' He added hastily.**

"Girl?" Naruto asked. "HANA!" and with that piece of wisdom he zoomed out the door.

"Wow there are so many things here." Hana said as she looked everywhere from under rocks to the top of buildings. No one messed with her. Why? Because they didn't get the time, she was running to fast. "Hey wait a second...Is that? Uncle Shino!" She said loudly running up to hug Shino violently.

"Hello Hana" Shino said returning the hug. The entire Aburame clan was starved for human attention, so they took it in any form they could get. Fighting, misquito's, t.v. So for someone to hug you just being nice was like hitting the lottery.

"What are you doing Uncle?" Hana asked letting go.

"I was going to do nothing but relax today [lie] however since you're here Hana we could go meet my team [almost lie] and just hang out" Shino said inviting her to just hang out.

"Is Tomato going to be there?" Hana asked. "If she's still sick then I don't think she should be out"

"Hinata is not sick. However she l...is not accustomed to being around your "Daddy" Shino said 'Good one Shino you almost blew Hinata's secret...It's just like I tell you never ever...' Anyway you get the point of what Shino thought.

"Well how do we get them A-costumed to each other?" Hana asked staring at Shino with big eyes.

"I suppose they'd just have to spend time together" Shino said. 'Nice excuse Shino-my-boy if you get any more great ideas check into a mental ward...' Anyway that was the gist of what Shino thought.

"Really?" Hana said.

"Yes...here we are." Shino stated. 'You know you just state the obvious a lot, why do you talk to yourself so much in your head in real life you'll say about eight words in a conversation but no, with me it's yak yak yak...' Anyway that is the main point of what he was thinking.

"Hey Shino...What's the brat doing here?" Kiba asked. The little brat thought that Shino could beat him...Ha.

"I invited her..." Shino said. If you listened carefully you could hear a slight buzzing originating from Shino.

"He-hello Hana" Hinata said bowing slightly.

"Hey Tomato...You seem healthier." Hana said.

"Hana sit over there while we train for a bit okay?" Shino said gently. [Really now, even the people who were there didn't believe this one]

"Okay Uncle. Have fun with Tomato." Hana said running off to sit by a tree.

"Oh my...Where is she!" Naruto yelled while running through Konoha.

"Where is who Naruto" Lee said appearing beside Naruto.

"Yes who are you looking for on this youthful day" Gai said appearing on Naruto's other side.

"Hana my adopted daughter!" Naruto said loudly.

"The youthful genius who found Kakashi's secret?" Gai asked.

"Yeah" Naruto said "Have you seen her?"

"No but come over to our training ground real fast and I'll find two people to look for our youthful little friend" Gai said turning left quickly.

"Great practice Kiba." Shino said quietly.

"Yeah Uncle Shino, you're the best!" Hana yelled.

"Kiba are you alright?" Hinata asked.

"Yeah my skull's just numb" Kiba said. Shino had repeatedly slammed his head into a tree.

"Okay, we all know that Numb-skull over there is okay but what do you guys do now?" Hana asked over Kiba's objections at his nick-name.

"Now we're going to go to the tea shop and rest" Shino said. "However if you would like we could go somewhere else."

Now this little sentence invoked three different reactions in three different people. Kiba was ticked off because he had been trying for years to get their hang out location changed. Hinata blushed remembering a "Naughty" part of her dream last night where Naruto had said something similar. Hana however just started thinking of where they could go.

"Do you guys know Ichiraku ramen?" She asked.

"Okay team this is a mission to find one Uzumaki, Hana." Gai said to all assembled. Lee, Neji, Ten-ten and Naruto were all awaiting orders. "Any questions?" Gai continued.

"Is this an assasination mission?" Neji asked sounding very, very happy at the possibility.

"Eh...No." Gai backing up a few steps.

"What does she look like" Asked Ten-ten

"Just like this." Gai said taking out a picture of Hana.

"Eh...Gai-sensei...how did you get a picture of her? I don't even have a picture of her" Naruto asked.

"Hm? Oh well, you see, I just take pictures of all the very youthful people and all the very non-youthful people and put it on my wall to help me get more youthful." Gai lied. In reality he'd been taking pictures of a girl he liked and Hana just happened to get in the way.

"Okay then." Naruto said taking a few steps back.

"The first person who finds her picks the team schedule for the week!" Gai proclaimed speeding off.

"O.k then she might be...guys? Wher'd ya go?" Naruto asked oblivious to the fact that to get a week off would be heaven to Neji and Ten-ten, and that a week of non-stop training would be heaven.

Ichiraku ramen. Famed hang out of one Uzumaki Naruto. Quickest bowl of ramen ever eaten...15 seconds. Held by: Uzumaki, Hana.

Shino, Hinata, and Kiba just stared. They were shocked, they were suprised, and they were suspicious.

"H-h-how did you beat Naruto-kun's record?" Hinata asked. It had taken Naruto years to beat that record. He was so happy when he did. Hinata was there so she knew. Well she wasn't THERE, but she saw it.

"Yeah brat. How?" Kiba asked.

"Good job. First two bowls are on ol' Uncle Shino today" Shino said pointing to himself.

"Oh thank you Uncle." Hana said as she started talking to Teuchi.

"Ol' Uncle Shino?" Kiba asked laughing, He quickly stopped however with the glare cast in his direction by Shino.

"There you are!" A voice yelled from behind the curtain.

"Daddy?" Hana asked between mouthfuls of ramen.

"Yes..." Naruto said emerging through. He was covered in dirt, grime, and he had a few twigs in his hair. "I've looked all over for you."

"I apologize for Hana, Naruto, however she was just hanging out with us" Shino said.

"Oh...I guess that's okay" Naruto said smiling.

"You really should shower or something." Kiba pointed out.

"...Yeah, I guess you're right...but uh...I can't bathe Hana." Naruto said looking down.

"Why not?" Kiba inquired.

"Because she's a girl and I'm just her adoptive father...We aren't that close." Naruto stated. "Wait a sec...Hinata you're a girl could you do it for me?" Naruto begged.

"I-I...S-sure Naruto-kun." Hinata stammered out.

"Yay! Sleepover with Tomato at Okama's house." Hana yelled.

"Um..I don't know about you staying but I just can't bathe you I'll pick you up at six" Naruto said as he walked out.

"Let's go Tomato. Bye Uncle Shino...See ya Numb-skull" Hana said dragging Hinata out of the resturaunt. The time was 12:00

A/N I don't know a lot about Japanese clothing okay? okay. By the way I hope you liked the chapter. This story seems really popular. I'll state again I thought this story up by myself so please don't ask if another story inspired this one because it didn't okay? Okay. Hana seems really popular. Have good day now ya hear?


	6. A day of fun and work Part 2

"At the Hyuuga's"

A/N Since the author notes in the middle of the story seems to upset people I'm going to stop doing that unless there is something that really does need explained. Uh...This...is kinda weird...but this story is popular, I think, because of Hana. Am I correct? Anyway please enjoy this continuation of A day of work and play.

"Going to Okama's house. Going to Okama's house" Hana was singing as she walked with Hinata towards the Hyuuga home.

"P-please Hana, c-could you be a bit quieter, people are s-starting to stare." Hinata said blushing at the attention she was getting. It wasn't that much four or five people at the most but Hinata can't handle attention that well.

"Okay." Hana said as she started humming the "Ode to Okama" under her breath.

"Please Hana stop." Hinata pleaded. She was really not used to the attention.

"Okay. Hey Tomato do you like Daddy?" Hana asked.

"..." Hinata was blushing a little. "Um...H-h-hai."

"Then is that why do you sleep with him?" Hana asked.

"I-I-I Don't s-sleep with N-Naruto-kun." Hinata stuttered out blushing greatly at the attention. Not to mention memories of her dreams.

"Yeah you do I was there." Hana stated defiantly.

"I-I just fainted Hana." Hinata said a bit louder than neccesary. Almost as if she was telling everyone in the immediate vicinity.

"When are we going to get there?" Hana asked. She wanted to see Okama again.

"In a few minutes Hana please though, when we do get there, don't be rude." Hinata said without stuttering. She was actually quite proud of herself because of this fact.

"...I have a question." Hana stated as she stopped walking.

"W-what is it?" Hinata asked hoping it wasn't about a certain blond.

"Why were you pointing at Daddy in the ramen shop a few days ago?" Hana asked.

'Oh no. How do I answer this. Tell her I was going to kill them. That won't go well.' Hinata thought before settling on "I don't know what you're talking about." again with no stutter.

"But..." Hana started.

"N-no idea at all" Hinata said.

"We're here!" Hana yelled as loud as her little body could muster.

"Um...y-yeah we'll have to ask father if you can stay for a while." Hinata said leading Hana into the house.

"Wow...It's so big compared to Daddy's house." Hana muttered in awe.

"I know" Hinata said. The Hyuuga house was exactly 20 times bigger then Naruto's apartment. Funny how spying on someone while they sleep for hours on end can give you a great reservoir of knowledge huh?

"Hinata...who is this?" Hiashi asked. 'All I wanted to do today was sit around and watch kid shows on my t.v. but instead I'll have to deal with something weird no doubt.' Hiashi though, he'd been watching kid shows recently to get his mind off the horrors of life, namely paperwork.

"This is uh...H-Hana." Hinata stuttered.

"Hm." Hiashi then did what he did to all people the first time he met them. He glared. He had nothing against the girl, just to see how she would react. Hana just looked right back at him. 'She's good' Hiashi thought as he glared harder. Hana just looked right back. 'Man she won't flinch. That's it. Hyuuga death glare' Hiashi thought as he sent said look at Hana. Now most people would faint or be frozen in fear at this look, three people actually died when they received it. Hana just looked right back at him. This unnerved Hiashi, a lot, he himself couldn't look in the mirror with this look on. Hana just looked right back. Without realizing it Hiashi backed up ever so slightly.

"You're funny mister." Hana said laughing.

"D-d-demon!" Hiashi yelled over-reacting. He didn't really think this but he got so little chance to yell now-a-days so he took this chance. "Well Hinata..." He continued as if nothing had happened "make sure you're friend here enjoys herself after all we must show guests..." He just kept going on and on about the main branch needing to be social. "I'm Hiashi by the way."

"Okay Hiashi-sama." Hana said, she didn't know much about rich people but she did know that they should be respected. At least during the first meeting.

"Hai father. H-Hana we really should be going." Hinata said grabbing Hana's hand and dragging her into Hinata's room.

"Nice room, Hey look a picture of Daddy...and another...and another...eh..." Hana wasn't sure but even with her small math skills she knew that having that many pictures of someone is a little weird.

"Um...I-I...I'll go g-get you some clothes." Hinata said blushing. She really didn't think that she overdid it. She only had around fifty pictures of Naruto, most of which were taken without his knowing.

When Hinata left the room Hana started exploring the room. In the closet there was an...altar of sorts, with a lot of pictures of Naruto. On top of the dresser was a picture of Naruto's team with Sakura and Sasuke's eyes scratched out. Right next to this picture was a picture of Hinata's team. Nothing was done with this picture however. "Wow this is kinda creepy." Hana said aloud.

"Um...P-please don't touch my stuff. I-I don't want to have to h-hurt you." Hinata said blushing. Most of these pictures did have copies but these ones were original. "The only clothes I could find were shinobi ones from Hanabi, o-okay?" Hinata continued showing Hana a T-shirt with Ninja pants. They were in okay condition but could have been better taken care of.

"Okay. Bath time!" Hana yelled as she ran to follow Hinata into the bathroom. The bath itself passed without incident. It ended at 2:00.

"Wow. It's good to be clean" Hana said rubbing her light brown hair. They had to drain and refill the tub three times to get it this clean.

"Y-yeah I'm s-sure it is." Hinata stuttered out.

"Can we go talk to Okama?" Hana asked.

"Neji-nii-san? S-sure" Hinata stated.

"Yay!" Hana yelled running out the door.

Neji was having a great day today. He hadn't seen Gai or Lee for quite some time. The brat was missing, and Ten-ten was also nowhere to be found. Finally he could do all the stuff they wouldn't let him do. 'Now I can finally think, it's nearly impossible while getting weapons thrown at you or someone preaching about "youth" I'm already youthful enough thank you now good bye.' Neji thought as he relaxed on his bed. The only thing was, that he had a bad feeling, almost as if, the perfect day, was about to be ruined.

"Open up Okama!" A voice yelled outside Neji's door.

"No, no...I, I got rid of you. Naruto found you, you should be with him" Neji said backing away from the door. He couldn't imagine how this had possibly happened. "Leave me alone. Now!" Neji said. If you paid attention even a little you could hear fear in his voice.

"Neji-nii-san, open the door please" Neji heard Hinata say.

"...I'll be right there." Neji mumbled. He REALLY hated the main branch now.

"Hello Okama..." Hana said calmly.

"Oh, you're calm, I suppose if you want you could both come in then. Did your hair change color?" Neji asked. He usually hated being wrong about people but, this is one instance where he didn't mind in the least.

"Yay!" Hana yelled running in and started jumping on Neji's well made bed.

"I stand corrected." Neji said. It looked as though he could cry. The time was 5:00.

"Hey how do you see if you have no pupils?" Hana asked after she was done writing Okama over everything Neji owned, and quite a few things he didn't own.

"It's the byakugan and it is a Hyuuga bloodline secret." Neji explained. The time was 6:00.

"C-come on H-Hana we need to get you d-downstairs for N-Naruto-kun to pick you up" Hinata said.

"Okay. Bye Okama." Hana said walking out with Hinata.

"She really isn't that bad" Neji said. "She's worse."

Downstairs Hinata was awaiting Naruto's arrival with Hana. "Can I come over again?"

"If Naruto-kun allows it" Hinata said quickly. They then heard a knock on the front door.

"Daddy!" Hana yelled running to open the door.

"Hey Hana." Naruto said as he walked in. "Thanks for letting her come over Hinata".

'Anything for you Naruto-kun' Hinata thought. "N-no problem N-Naruto-kun." Hinata said blushing.

"Hey, you want to come eat lunch with Hana and me tomorrow?" Naruto asked, after all Hana seemed somewhat fond of Hinata.

"Yeah do it, do it!" Hana said loudly.

"Um...Just you and H-Hana?" Hinata asked blushing furiously.

"Yeah!" Naruto proclaimed.

"S-sure I'll meet you at I-Ichiraku's then." Hinata said smiling a little and blushing a lot.

"It's a date then" Naruto said leading Hana out of the house. He meant this in a casual way of course.

"D-d-date!" Hinata said loudly. She was joyful beyond joy. Then she fainted. The time was 6:04.

A/N I kinda liked writing this chapter. Anyway I'm doing away with demanding reviews before I'll update. I'll try to update AT LEAST once a week now. But if you want to leave reviews they will definitely inspire me to write. Now I know Hiashi seemed OOC in this chapter but hey, when you get a chance to be happy you be happy. Plus he had a guest. so uh...please review.


	7. The date

"A D-d-data?"

A/N 100 reviews when I started writing this chapter. let me make this clear **100** reviews. By the way this takes place before "_his_" invasion. I hate that man with a burning passion. He's killed [or has possibly killed] all of my favorite characters. Jiraiya, Kakashi, and possibly Hinata [not sure on this] so please for the sake of my happiness don't bring anything up about the current manga unless it's something like "----- survived" then bring it up immediately. I've been bummed ever since I read that. Anyway on with the chapter. We left off with Naruto offering to take Hinata out with him and Hana for lunch. I'll try to be a bit more descriptive from now on. By the way I'm trying not to make the characters too OOC if at all but I do believe they haven't been OOC yet. With Hinata threatening Hana, If you want to keep a big secret, secret then you gotta protect it, plus it's always the quite ones who go crazy.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"...nata? Hinata?" A voice was saying. "Wake up Hinata"

"Hm?" Hinata moaned. She'd just had the greatest dream. In it Naruto had asked her on a date and they had a wonderful ending with...well you can probably guess what it was.

"Hinata!!!" It was Neji. "Hinata wake up now!!!"

"Neji-nii-san?" Hinata asked getting up.

"If you plan on going on your...date, you'd better sleep in a bed, not the floor." Neji said calmly. He over heard it while going to get food. The kitchen was by the front door.

"Hai Neji-nii-san I should go get ready for bed, thank you" Hinata said as she went to admire her altar for an hour then go to bed.

"For some reason I think that I should get ready to start baby sitting." Neji said. He shuddered before going to do...Neji stuff.

The next day Naruto was walking around with Hana trying to find her a baby-sitter for when Naruto was on missions. Hana kept saying "Tomato" would be perfect but Naruto thought she should at least meet the others. On the way to Ichiraku Ramen for the lunch date they ran into Chouji.

"Hey Naruto." Chouji said. He was eating a bag of normal chips. Not wavy, not crispy, not bar-b-que, just normal chips. No one ever eats those anymore for some reason.

"Hey mister you look F..."

Naruto knew what was going to happen before it happened He moved to get Hana out of the way before she incurred the wrath of "Chubby" People. Sadly he tripped in his haste to save Hana.

"Fantastic!!!" Hana yelled "Your so big, you must be really strong!!!"

"Well yes, I guess I am." Chouji said taking an immediate liking to the girl. He had a feeling they'd get along just fine. "Want some chips?"

"Nah Thanks though Big guy but I gotta go eat with Tomato." Hana said.

"Who?" Chouji asked.

"Me and Daddy are going to eat with a girl named Hinata...I think she's more like a tomato though." Hana said as if it were obvious.

"Oh? Got a date Naruto? Well practice safe sex...wear a helmet." Chouji said as he walked off laughing at his own little joke. 'Hinata would never consent to that' He thought leaving. He was wrong however but nobody realized that for a few years.

"Hey look there's Hinata." Naruto said pointing said girl out. Hinata visibly blushed when she saw Naruto.

"H-hello Naruto-kun." Hinata said. She was dressed in her usual attire but something was different about her. Naruto couldn't place it. She just looked brighter today, happier for lack of better word.

"Hey Tomato." Hana said running up to hug Hinata's legs as that was all she could reach.

"Alright Hana you need to get off Hinata." Naruto said chuckling lightly. He was amazed at the fact that a girl who usually blended in with her surroundings would be so happy to eat with a little girl.

**"Swing and a miss Kit" Kyuubi said noticing this thought process going on. He knew a lot of things that Naruto had missed. He wasn't a love guru by a long shot but even he noticed Hinata's liking of the young blond. 'Really though I shouldn't be one to judge, after all I didn't realize this until a day ago' Kyuubi thought. He really did think he deserved credit though, after all he wasn't human and therefore not familiar with Human emotions.**

'What do you mean Baka-fox' Naruto said to Kyuubi. He couldn't shake the feeling that Kyuubi knew something that Naruto should know. 'Who else would Hinata be happy to see?'

**"Now, now, Kit if I told you that I wouldn't be able to watch you try to figure it out." Kyuubi said "After all I do so enjoy your handicap in this situation."**

"Naruto-kun? A-are you okay?" Hinata asked the blond snapping him out of this mental battle she looked genuinely worried about him. Being Naruto however he didn't think much of it at the time, or later on for that matter.

"Yeah. Now, lets eat!" He exclaimed loudly running into the restaurant. Throwing back the curtains [or whatever they're called] he entered the restaurant followed by Hinata and Hana, they sat down and ordered their ramen.

"Hey, Daddy, do you lke Tomato?" Hana asked in a voice that suggested that she was thinking hard about something, as hard, anyway, as a seven year old could think about something as complex as the something was.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I like her?" Said person responded in a voice that clearly mean that he meant, for those of you who don't know, that Hinata was his friend and if it all came down to it he would give his life for hers, as he would all his friends and newly acquired daughter.

Hinata blushed a nice shade of pale red, or possibly a dark pink. She started poking her index fingers together in a nervous manner. She knew, that he meant he liked her as a friend and no more 'Yet' she added mentally.

Hana seemed to reach a decision about whatever she was thinking about as the slightly steaming bowls of ramen arrived, while Hana and Naruto tore through them, Hana being slightly faster, though Naruto was barely behind at all, Hinata slowly ate her's wanting the date even as friendly as theirs was, to last as long as possible. They heard the faint flap of cloth being moved out of the way in a slight hurry. They turned and saw Shino who looked to be in a good mood.

"Hello, Uncle Shino!" Hana said loudly between mouthfuls of ramen. She looked at him as he sat down in the seat next to her. He reached into his pocket and looked slightly apprehensive about the object. "What's that, Uncle Shino?"

He opened his hands to reveal "Sunglasses, the kind people in my clan wear, they are a symbol of acceptance in my clan. The reason most of us wear it is to signify that we are, accepted in the clan. I, convinced my father to allow me to, um, present it to you, if you want it of course." Shino looked slightly sadder at this part he then continued "If you do accept it however, you'll be allowed into the Aburame clan house at any time, and you'll also be given a vote in Aburame matters, when you're old enough, and this would essentially make you an Aburame in all, but blood. But if you don't want it, I understand." Shino stopped and waited for an answer. He looked ready for rejection and also eager, slightly like a little kid hoping that, inside the present they had gotten was the new toy they wanted.

"Would that mean I would get to see you more often?" Hana asked in a quite voice.

"Yes, me and my clan." Shino said sounding slightly optimistic.

"Then...all I can say is....YES!!!" She yelled with so much enthusiasm that even Naruto thought it was a bit excessive.

"Then I want you to keep these." Shino said handing the glasses to Hana. She tried to put them on like "Uncle Shino" but slipped off and instead hung onto her chin. Shino chuckled and put them on her forehead like one would put the Konoha Head band on. It stayed almost perfectly. "I'll see if I can't get a slightly smaller pair." Shino said and then stood up to leave, then almost as if he had just noticed Hinata and Naruto in the booth, sat back down and said to Naruto "She is allowed to have these right?"

"I don't see why not, but isn't it a bit soon to allow her into the clan?" Naruto asked, he did think that after knowing each other for only a few short days, that allowing a membership to a very reclusive clan, was a bit premature.

"Not at all. She isn't afraid of us. That's good enough." Shino said as if he thought the question was a waste of his time. He stood up again and then said "Hana. Would you like to meet a few other Aburames?"

"Yeah!!! If it's okay with Daddy." Hana said looking at Naruto with puppy dog eyes.

"Sure have fun Hana." Naruto said then stopped and looked at Hinata "Actually you're our guest Hinata, is it okay with you if she goes?"

Hinata blushed at being brought into a decision like this. "U-u-um sure." She stuttered out. This was exactly the kind of thing she wanted to happen, getting Hana out of the way ensured that she would spend some alone time with Naruto, and making Shino happy was just an added bonus.

"Alright Hana go along then." Naruto said as though he was talking about an incident that happend a great, many years ago.

"Yay, let's go Uncle Shino!!!" She yelled as she ran out of Ichiraku Ramen.

"Naruto, I'll bring her back in an hour about?" Shino asked in a tone that said this was clearly not a question.

"Okay." Naruto shrugged. He liked Hana, but a few minutes without someone with a loud voice yelling in your ear would be a welcome change.

"Goodbye." Shino said following Hana.

"S-so N-Naruto-kun, how is Hana doing?" Hinata said grabbing onto a subject that wouldn't sound weird to talk about.

"She's fine, though I would like a day to myself without her yelling in my ear, but hey, who said being a parent was easy?" He said laughing slightly.

"Y-you c-could let her stay with m-me and N-Neji-nii-san for a d-day." Hinata suggested getting redder and redder at every word.

"Thanks, I just might take you up on that offer, another day though." Naruto said then noticing that Hinata was really red asked "You okay? You look like you have a fever." with the last word he put his hand on her forehead to check for said affliction. The result was...nothing. "I guess your okay if...never-mind" He started as she fell over onto him.

"Naruto you had better get her home soon anyway you've been here for two hours." Teuchi said, he hadn't said anything before this because he got so lonely with only his daughter around, but these three were like free cable, except more entertaining.

"It's that late already? Oh well better take her home." Naruto said picking her up bridal style.

Hinata had a great feeling. Almost like she was being carried, almost as if Naruto-kun were doing it, almost as it...She opened her eyes to see what was happening, She then immediately closed them. Naruto was carrying her. She was so happy she almost fainted, but held on to consciousness in order to enjoy the feeling of his arms supporting her. It was like a dream come true. 'I can't believe my luck, a date and now he's carrying me. This day couldn't get any better.

Naruto for his part was being well behaved about this. Not copping a feel on the unconscious girl was quite an accomplishment for a fifteen year old. It's not that he didn't want to, heck he knew that even the fox was encouraging the action, but Naruto knew the consequences of perverted behavior, the Ero-Sennin Jiraiya was more than a perfect example of this point. He actually kind of like how he felt when carrying her. He was snapped off from this train of thought when a kunai almost pierced through his foot. "What the hell!?" he yelled almost dropping Hinata.

"Naruto? Is it just you?" A scared voice said from a nearby tree.

"Yeah, and Hinata." Naruto said getting ready to run if need be.

"Oh. What a relief." Neji said getting down from the tree. He wasn't dressed in his usual attire. He had camouflage war paint all over his face as well as a black headband on to keep his hair out of his face, his clothes were more of a jumpsuit, it was a dark green color, almost as if he'd been planning an ambush.

"Why?" Naruto said setting Hinata down, said girl looked disappointed, but neither male noticed.

"Because I thought that demon was with you. Oh well, no harm done I'll take my cousin back to the house then." Neji said looking as if the simple fact that he hadn't seen Hana today was enough to get rid of the caged bird seal.

"N-no Neji-nii-san, I'll w-walk" Hinata said getting up. "Thank you for the wonderful day Naruto-kun." and with that both Hyuuga's walked away.

"The Hyuuga, surely are, the weirdest people ever. Honestly a little girl changes them from quite to insane in a heartbeat." Naruto said as he went to his apartment to await the arrival of Hana.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N wow I got this done amazing. I'm not that good with fluff but I don't think this qualifies. I'm not good with romance all that much but I think for a first "Date" that went really well. Especially considering who it was. The next chapter will be about Hana's time in the Aburame household. I am still a little bit afraid of making this progress to slowly. Also I tried to make this chapter a bit more descriptive. Tell me if I succeeded or failed. Also if any of you have an idea as to a chapter you'd like or a character you'd like Hana to interact with please tell me. Also go to my profile page and vote in my pole as to whether Hana should be a shinobi or not. The pole will close in about three weeks so please vote. I already have an Idea as to who she would apprentice under, as to who take a guess. Um...I hope you enjoyed. Please review.


	8. Aburame's abode

"With the Aburame's"

A/N I have great news. People have voted in the poll but I do have one request. I'm happy people are voting in the pole, I want to make Hana a shinobi too because I've gotten a bunch of ideas about what would happen with that, but I'm ahead of myself. This is a continuation of the last chapter starting when Shino and Hana left the shop. Also to my regular reviewers I thank you for supporting me. Poll will end in 2 weeks or 2 posts whichever comes first. Now I've started to ramble so lets get on to the show...fic.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

As soon as they had left the restaurant Shino, who was extremely happy that there was at least one person in the world who wouldn't shun Aburame clan members, grabbed Hana, who was talking about all the cool stuff that had happened to her since she last saw her "Uncle Shino" and led her to a restaurant. Anyone who thought that Aburame clan members didn't enjoy a good joke every now and then, or that said clan members didn't prank people, had not hung around an Aburame. In truth the clan enjoyed jokes more so than any other person in the world almost, because it distracted them from the fact that they were social outcasts. These jokes were far and in-between but they did happen. This is one of those times.

"Where are we going Uncle Shino?" Hana asked wondering why Shino was leading her into a restaurant.

"To see a, friend, of mine" Shino responded. He was giddy with excitement, after all who wouldn't enjoy a good joke.

"Yay!!!" Hana shouted. If the two people in the booth four rows from them knew what was coming, at least one of them would have made a break for freedom.

"Hello Shikamaru." Shino said sitting down beside the chuunin with pineapple hair. The genius was slightly shocked that Shino would sit down with him and his client but it wasn't as astounding as what sat down beside his client.

"Who's the girl." Shikamaru nearly mumbled. Surely she couldn't be to much trouble, after all She was sitting next to Temari, who was lecturing him on his laziness, so nothing could make it worse, right?

"Yeah, she has glasses like you. Is she an Aburame?" Temari asked looking at the girl. Despite how she acted around everyone she really did care for children and other girly things, however due to who her father and brother were plus her mom died so she had to be tough. To review this mathematically provable equation, Fourth Kazekage X Gaara + dead mom= Mean Temari.

"No, Uncle Shino is just going to show me the Aburame clan house, I'm an Aburame in all but blood though." Hana piped up. "So lady is Smokestack your husband?"

Shikamaru looked down at the cigarette he held in his mouth, surely he didn't smoke that much. He smoked to honor Asuma's death. He put it out. "I'm not a smokestack." He said calmly.

"And, he isn't my husband, boyfriend, or anything else of that nature." Temari said. Sure she had thought of him like that one time but hey it was hormones, and only that.

"Is that a fan?" Shino asked. Calculating by nature Aburame's knew their opponents weakness before they went into any battle.

"Yes, you know that already right?" Temari said. She was pretty sure that he knew that.

"Okay Fanny." Hana said. She didn't understand what happenednext but, she was pretty sure that this lady was evil, with which Shikamaru would agree completely.

What happened was, Shino smirked as his plan came into full effect. Shikamaru looked for an exit and almost ran for it. Temari's reaction however, was not forseen by quite a few people. "Please, dear don't call me that. Okay?" She said in a deathly quiet voice.

"Okay." Hana said. "What do I call you?"

"Call me Temari. Call him," She said, voice back to normal, motioning towards Shikamaru "Sloth. Okay?"

"Don't call me Sloth." Shikamaru said. He was really starting to get irritated with this girl.

"Smokestack?"

"No."

"Pineapple?"

"No"

"Lazy?"

"No." He said. Some anger had seeped into his voice.

"Dum-dum?"

"No"

"Nerdy?"

"No damn-it!" He said getting up and storming off.

Temari stood up. "Is it just me or is he cute when he's angry?" She then ran off to catch up to Shikamaru.

"Well, Hana." Shino said "Better get out of here before the owner comes to collect the money." He noticed that neither Shikamaru or Temari had paid the bill.

"Okay Uncle Shino." Hana said running out of the establishment. Honestly the energy the seven year old had was inexplicable at times.

The walked through the streets of Konoha towards the Aburame clan house. The little detour with the Nara had taken more time than they really had to waste.

Walking up to a window Shino saw something that nearly scarred him. Inside was his dad. Nothing wrong with that just a dad, Shino wished this was it but there was more, His dad was dressed up like Micheal Jackson for the Beat It video, and was actually doing the dance with bug clones.

Hana just walked in before knocking. The Aburame had a honored tradition of knocking before entering a room. Coincidentaly this rule came out just about the time that Shibi [Shino's dad] became clan head. "Hi!!!"

Shibi stopped immediately and dispersed the clones. "Hello, you must be Hana that my son told me about"

"Yeah. Hey mister that dance you were doing was cool!!!" Hana said.

Shibi allowed a small smile to appear on his face.

15 minutes later, Hana, Shibi, and a bunch of Shibi clones were dancing to thriller while Shino watched horrified. Even he wouldn't have dared think that this would have happened.

As the music stopped Shibi stopped and looked at Hana "If only you were a little older I'd have my son date you." He said quietly.

"Dad she's seven!" Shino said alarmed.

"I said IF she were OLDER." Shibi defended himself.

"Your funny Buggy!!" Hana yelled loudly.

"Thank you little girl. Shino does she have to go home soon?" Shibi said in a tone close to that of a little kid asking if they had to stop playing with their friends and go to do something boring.

"Yes dad, In about twenty five minutes to be precise." Shino said. He hadn't thought that his dad of all people would like Hana.

"Yeah I gotta go home with Daddy." Hana said.

"Twenty five minutes?" Shibi asked Shino.

"Yes."

"Enough time to learn Bad then." Shibi said as he ran to go get a different CD.

Twenty five minutes later. Shino was amazed the last performance was spectacular. Hana had learned the dance extremely fast. Shino was sad that it had to end "Hana we really should be getting you back home to your father"

"Already?" came from both Shibi and Hana.

Shibi left towards the door and before he left the room he turned back and said "This never happened. Come back anytime." then he left.

Hana and Shino walked through the darkening streets of Konoha. The walk to the Aburame house was long for civilians, of which Hana was. They spent this time asking questions about each other, Shino gave out very little of his past, Hana gave out even less. They saw Naruto waiting near Ichiraku.

"Daddy!!!" Hana yelled and ran up to hug him.

"Did you have fun?" Naruto asked. Hana gave a vague answer about her stay as they walked home. "Bye Uncle Shino"

"Farewell." Shino said. He was going home to shower. Then when he was sure everyone was asleep, he too would practice his Micheal Jackson dance.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N this chapter feels a little short to me so I'll apologize for the shortness. I hate St. Patrick's day, all it is, is an excuse to get drunk and pinch people. Oh well, hope you enjoyed this chapter, I laughed when I thought of Shibi [I think is his name] dancing to Micheal Jackson music, by the way people he wasn't convicted so he didn't do it. Oh well Hope you enjoyed, hope you review, now Beat It. Ha ha, joke of course...I'm starting to ramble oh well please review.


	9. A Dozen Dreams

"A dark night indeed"

A/N: Yes well I do believe I owe you all an explanation about the last chapters shortness, well the fact is I just couldn't think of anything else to add, also this Sunday the Hana=Shinobi poll will close. For those of you who love/hate this story I thank/curse you, take your pick. This fic really has done a lot better than I thought it would. Anyway time to explore a realm that I don't see explored a lot, Dreams. They are a great way to express yourself and relieve stress. So this chapter will be about a few of the characters' dreams as they sleep the night after the date and Hana visiting Shino and the king of pop himself Shibi Aburame. Lastly before we begin MJ if you're reading this, where did I leave my sunglasses? I know you probably won't know seeing as how we've never met, but I think it would be a good idea to ask, just in case. On with the story.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Uzumaki_, _Naruto's Dream_

Standing in a circular office overlooking Konohagakaru the Hokage looked out the window. It had taken a while to get to this position. No one really understood the motives behind it, however after the battle with the Ivory-haired beast, no one had even sought to question the motives. After all if one vanquished such a beast no one would question you for quite some time. Even if he suggested that they destroy Hokage mountain because He didn't like the color, he could fully expect to be obeyed.

He grinned as he spotted one of his favorite sites in the village, Ichiraku Ramen. He had eaten here many times before, so many no one even had a clue. He decided to take a break from doing paperwork, instead he was going to work on his record. A plaque was mounted in the restaurant it read "Most bowls eaten: 1405 Uzumaki, Naruto Fastest bowl of Ramen: 20 seconds Uzumaki, Naruto"

'As it should be' Naruto thought. Sitting down he ordered a bowl.

"Daddy!"

"What the?" Naruto thought. He didn't have children.

A giant shadow formed in front of his eyes. No longer was he in Ichiraku, he was now in an arena.

"What the?" He barely had time to say before Hyuuga, Hinata appeared before him.

"Hello, Naruto-Kun." She said.

"Oh, thank goodness. Hinata, whats going on?" Naruto asked desperately.

"Nothing you won't like, Hokage-sama" She said stressing the last two words as she started unzipping her jacket.

"What the?" Naruto said as the scenery again changed. Sitting in a corner of a colorless room was Deidara.

"Oh, finally you're here Un." He said. [yes he's a guy]

"Do I know you?" Naruto asked happy for some peace.

"Not really Un. Tried to kill each other though, Un." Deidara said as if he were talking about the weather.

"So, why are you here?" Naruto asked.

"Fox, Un. Called me here for some reason." Deidara said in his small talk voice.

"Oh. What's it like being dead?" Naruto asked.

"No clue Un. If there is a Deity, they wiped my memory, Un, If not then I'm just a figure of you're imagination." Deidara said looking as if he had gotten to a point. "Now my explosion, was it wonderful, Un?" He asked his eyes lighting up. "I bet it was fantastic, Un, a real blast, really big, probably didn't get you're teacher though, no, he's to good for that I bet. How was it Un?"

"Um...Kakashi-sensei confined it to another demension." Naruto said recounting what he remembered.

"..." Deidara seemed to shrink.

"But, even then it was big. A real, blast" Naruto said quickly.

"Alright Un!!!" Deidara shouted seeming to grow in stature.

"So, why are you here?" Naruto asked.

"...Like I know." Deidara said seeming to think back on his explosion and how wonderful it must have been.

"Just tell me!" Naruto exclaimed angrily. He was tired of beating around the bush.

"Talk to the hand." Deidara said holding up his right hand.

"Hi. My names...Oh I'm soooo nervous around strangers." The hand said.

"How can you talk?" Naruto asked astonished.

"It's a dream Un." Deidara said. He smiled a little.

"Really?"

"Pretty much Un." Deidara replied reaching into his cloak he pulled out a little statue made of clay. The statue was a miniature Hana. "Don't let it go to waste Un." He continued as he threw it to Naruto.

"Uh...Thanks." Naruto mumbled. It really did look just like Hana except it was all the same color.

"Don't worry bout it Un. Making it was a," He paused smiling "Load of fun. Hahaha You thought it was going to explode."

"Heheheh" Naruto laughed sarcastically. He really did think it would have exploded.

"So uh, wanna play kickball?" Deidara asked.

"Why?"

"I'm bored Un. Been dead a while." Deidara said shrugging.

"We don't have a ball or goals though." Naruto said

"Un, It's a dream, Un, just dream up your players and I'll tell you mine, Un, then you dream them up." Deidara stated.

"Uh huh then." Naruto said. He could tell this would be awkward.

_Hyuuga, Hanabi's Dream._

Young Hyuuga Hanabi never wanted much in life. No she preferred the land of dreams, where no one would ever mock you for not being strong. Nobody ever feared you for being a Hyuuga. Here she could be herself and not worry about being mocked, feared, hated, or liked. She dreamt of things no one else did. While others would dream of getting married to a prince or something of that sort, Hanabi dreamed of having a normal life. She never did care much about meetings or things of that nature. Being powerful was okay but what Hanabi really wanted more than anything, was to have a normal friend. She didn't want a perfect friend, she wanted a friend that she could talk to, one that would disappoint her when she gave them a secret. Many nights while most people dreamed of a fantasy world, Hyuuga Hanabi, dreamed of a normal one.

Hanabi awoke in her apartment with a start. She opened her teal eyes to another day with a headache. 'I thought I got rid of that a week ago' She thought as she walked towards her shower. After a brief washing she got dressed in plain clothed. "Wonder if he's gonna come into work again today" Hanabi said aloud, a slight blush on her cheeks.

She worked in a pet store. She earned avarage wage and got along with a few of her co-workers. The others couldn't stand her. Hanabi worked the counter all day long.

"Hey Hanabi, are you available Friday?" Konohamaru asked. He was her only pursuer. Every day He'd ask for a date, and every day she'd turn him down.

"No Konohamaru-san." Hanabi said annoyed.

"Still waiting for dog breath to come in?" Konohamaru said, his voice laced with acid.

"Don't call Kiba-kun that." Hanabi said blushing slightly.

"He's only come in twice, he doesn't even know you." Konohamaru said angrily.

"Sic 'em" Hanabi said lightly. She had trained all the dogs in the place to attack Konohamaru when she said this.

"Damn it!!!" Konohamaru yelled as he ran from the dogs of the store. None of them were big enough to really hurt him. But it was still unpleasant to get bitten.

"That'll learn him." Hanabi said as a bell rang signaling that costumer had entered the shop.

"Hey do you have dog food?" a voice said.

"Of course sir we have...." Hanabi trailed off seeing it was her crush. In real life Hanabi had talked to him once or twice, and unlike her sister, Hanabi didn't take pictures. No, that's what video cameras are for.

"Oh hey. It's you" Kiba said sounding surprised. "You were the clerk last time I came in, right?"

"Um...Yes sir." Hanabi said blushing.

"So you got dog food right?" Kiba said in a tone that clearly stated that he had forgotten about his earlier question.

"Yes sir, It's over there." She stated pointing to the dog aisle where Konohamaru was defending himself within a fort of dog food bags.

"Thanks." He said waving over his shoulder as he took a chunk of Konohamaru's fort with him.

Hanabi just stared after him. She dreams of an average life with average problems. In the real world Hanabi smiled slightly at her failure, for though it was a failure, no one yelled at her for messing up.

_Hyuuga, Hiashi's Dream._

It was a rainy day at the funeral. All the Hyuuga's had gathered for his wife's passing party, as she had put it in her final hour. Hyuuga Hiashi cried the whole time, no one noticed through the rain. He wasn't a cold hearted jerk as many believed. He had a childish side and his wife had accepted him for it. He had two daughters now. He really did want them to have the best life they could have. His wife had died during child birth because of an injury received during her last mission.

'If only she were a little stronger she would have made it' He thought sadly. He couldn't believe it. She was gone. He had named her daughter after her. Hyuuga, Hanabi was now in two placed. 'One in the grave and one in my arms.' He thought. She wouldn't be out here for long. The funeral would last only another half hour at the most. "Look well Hanabi...This will be the last time...you see her" He said to his daughter between sobs. No one heard them the rain was hard making a loud pitter patter noise.

His other daughter, Hinata was staring at the casket with tears in her eyes. 'I'll probably lose her next, or my brother's kid, or Hanabi' He thought picturing them each being killed at the hands of a shadowy ninja. 'No. I won't allow it.' He thought with determination as he pictured these deaths 'They'll get stronger. Even if it makes them hate me, they'll be strong enough to live.' He then turned to little Hinata and for the first time in his life yelled at her "Stop crying! It's weakness to cry!" He said through his own tears.

Little Hinata just cried harder "B-b-but..." She began but never finished.

"No crying!" He yelled. He could barely stomach it, he didn't want to have to do it. 'It's for her own good' and from that day on he did everything for his family's 'own good'

_Hyuuga, Hinata's Dream_

Hyuuga Hinata was shy. Dreadfully so. She has a crush on Uzumaki, Naruto who is the opposite of her in many respect. She strives to be like him. Despite her shyness she was also, for lack of better words, insane. Childhood crush turned to blind devotion through the years. She loved Naruto for who he was and despised anyone who hurt him until the atoned for their sins. Like most teenagers she thought of murdering someone once or twice or in this case several thousand. Also like most teenagers these were just fantasy speculations. Shy, meek Hyuuga Hinata dreamed of two things her precious "Naruto-kun" and harming those who had harmed him.

A dungeon is a dark, dank, and scary place. With many implements of torture they were often the last thing people saw before the gallows. Screams punctured the air as lava was poured on a group of chuunin. Every five feet was a picture of a blond headed kid with whisker like marks on his face. The cacophony of sound was like music to Hinata's ears.

Dismembered arms on a rack, bodies impaled on spikes, and most importantly a mural of the Blond god she worshiped. Sure saving his gum was a bit excessive but that's the closest she had come to kissing him. Hinata left the maiming and torture to Kage Bunshins [shadow clones]. Very few had left this dungeon, among them were Hyuuga, Neji , Hatake, Kakashi , Rock Lee , and Haruno Sakura. The last one was on the verge of re-entering the dungeon however. How Hinata knew of Kakashi's and Lee's fight with Naruto is a mystery to many. However Hinata had her sources.

Exiting this area she walked into a hall filled to the brim with pictures of Naruto. Hinata smiled as the scenery changed.

This too was a room she frequented in her dreams. A slightly different kind of torture occurred here, pleasurable for her and to some extent the captive. Opening a heavy wooden door a bundle covered in ropes with a gag in his mouth started screaming through the cloth in hopes someone would hear him.

"Sorry Naruto-kun, no one here to interupt us tonight." She said smiling as she removed the gag. The instant it was removed he was yelling.

"What the hell!? Every night! What in the..." He started only to be cut off by her kissing him hard.

"Now now Naruto-kun, is that any way to speak to me?" She said in a voice somewhere between sadistic and seductive.

"Heeelp!!!" He yelled as loud as he could in vain.

In the real world, one Hyuuga, Hinata was smiling as she blushed. For at least on one front she could be like her "Naruto-Kun".

_Hyuuga, Neji's Dream._

Neji walked through a toy store. He didn't know why he did this every day but he did. He would pick up something and mess with it for a while before moving on to the next thing that caught his interest. Being raised in such a strict environment he never did have much time for play. He was in all reality afraid of it. He was not sure how to handle being a child.

He did have a couple of favorites in his dreams. The teddy bear that he often dressed up as a ninja was just like the one he had when he was little. He also favored playing with a soundboard designed to teach kids the sound that animals make. His favorite sound by far was that the duck says "Quack".

Here he could be as childish as he wanted and no one would do anything. He did have a playmate every once in a while in his dream land. He and Naruto played football a bit once, another time He lost horribly to Shikamaru in checkers, and his favorite by far had occurred a few days ago in fact. He was reliving that dream again tonight.

"More tea Mr. Teddykins?" Neji asked his teddy bear as he poured tea into a cup on the floor.

"Mrs. Fluffer-nutters wants some too!!!" Hana yelled pointing at a female doll the size of Hoshigaki, Kisame.

"But of course." Neji said walking over while adjusting his bonnet.

In the real world, Hyuuga Neji sighed as his dreams became ever more childish before dissolving into nothing but sight and colors.

_Uzumaki, Hana's Dream_

Hana ran towards her house. It was a slightly breezy summer day. Hana was just five years old at the time. She lived alone with her mother for her father had fled the village a year after she was born leaving behind only a note which Hana now kept on her person at all times. She ran in and shouted "Momma I found a pretty flower!!!" she paused for a response. When none came she went into the kitchen to see if she was there.

Blood was everywhere on the counter, the table, the butcher knife still stuck in the bleeding back of a headless corpse. Hana screamed as it all went blank.

"Ahhh!" Hana screamed as she awoke. She was crying hard. She went into Naruto's room a short way away and crawled in bed with him. Hugging him as if he could drive away the dreams. Within minutes she was asleep again. This time she was dreaming of pleasant things like her Daddy and Tomato. She really was happy now but every now and then she still thought of her Mother's headless corpse.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N: Um...yeah I tried to make this funny for all the dreams except Hana's. Her's has actual story significance. I really do hope you like it. Um...I really didn't think I could do a gore scene as well as I did [not well] anyway please review. Happy's gone for this chapter but...


	10. Enrolling into school

"Into the Academy"

A/N ...The happy's back! Before I get started I would like to point out that only Hiashi's and Hana's dreams actually happened the rest was a dream, meaning it has no story significance I was just using them to show a bit of the characters' back-round. This chapter will be about Hana becoming a Shinobi. I'm so happy people like this story...Almost 170 reviews so far. So um... please enjoy.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Vote yes on Issue 203!" A voice yelled outside of Naruto's apartment window. It sounded oddly muffled.

Naruto groggily awoke. Little light shone from outside, in the darkness Naruto could barely make out Hana's form laying next to him gently sleeping. "Why is someone yelling this early?" Naruto said as he got up to tell the one who was yelling to 'Kindly put a sock in it'. He turned the knob and applied a bit of pressure. The door didn't budge. 'Did someone lock me in again?' Naruto thought. This had happened before once or twice. Naruto put a bit more pressure on the door with no more response then the first time. 'Screw this' Naruto thought as he pushed with all his might against the door.

"Vote yes on issue 203!" the voice yelled as the door sped open.

"AHHH!!!" Naruto yelled shielding his eyes from the bright sun falling down in the process. 'How can it be this late and still be dark inside?' Naruto thought rolling on the ground in pain.

"Naruto?" the voice said as a shadow fell on Naruto, providing enough shade for Naruto to open his eyes.

"Lee!?" Naruto nearly shouted as he saw Lee, in all of his youthful glory. As his eyes adjusted Naruto noticed that everywhere there was at least one poster saying "Vote yes on Issue 203"

"Are you okay?" Lee asked helping Naruto to his feet.

"Yes, Lee, what are you doing?" Naruto inquired the jumpsuit wearing youth enthusiast.

"I'm raising awareness of Issue 203, it's going to be voted on today by the council." Lee said with his eyes closed.

"Oh. What is issue 203?" Naruto continued.

"Issue 203 is my challenge towards Tsunade's proclamation that I have to take training easily. I know when I take things too far." Lee said with hate in his voice at the word "Easily".

"Um...Isn't having so many posters on my doors and windows that I think it's midnight a bit uh, too far?" Naruto asked gesturing to his door which was only visible because of the many tears in the posters of that area.

"Heratic!!" Lee yelled and kicked Naruto in the shin as he ran off no doubt to put up more posters.

Naruto fell down due to the force of the kick. "Again I say a bit much!" He said through pain.

"Daddy?" A drowsy voice came from nearby.

"Huh?" Naruto grunted looking towards the noise. When he saw Hana rubbing sleep out of her eyes with the back of her hand while clutching his night cap to her chest he got up quickly.

"What are you doing?" She asked handing him the cap.

"Well Hana, Daddy just had to take care of something...Hana how old are you?" Naruto asked.

"I'm seven. Why Daddy?" Hana asked.

"You're old enough to enroll in the academy." He said thoughtfully then added "Do you want to be a shinobi Hana?"

"Will I be able to see Tomatoe and Okama more?" Hana asked.

"Yeah I suppose. You might even be assigned into one of their squads when your old enough. Also Shino is a ninja." Naruto said as soon as "Uncle Shino" came up though Hana was already running to get dressed.

Iruka was having a great day. Already nine and no one was late or absent. The whole school has been great. "Today just can't get any better." He said aloud.

"Iruka-sensei!!" A voice yelled from outside his door.

"Co...come in." Iruka had barley started when the door was opened. "Naruto! What are you doing here? Come back to learn how to knock politely?" Iruka joked. He was always happy to see Naruto now that he had so many missions. They barely saw each other any more.

"Is this him?" A little girl who Iruka had never seen before asked.

"Yeah. This Hana is Umino Iruka-sensei, if you're accepted He'll probably teach you everything you need to know." Naruto said wisely.

'A new student? Why would Naruto bring in a new student unless...' Iruka started doing calculations in his head. He arrived at a figure that he didn't like. By the looks of it this girl had to be seven, six if you pushed it. Grabbing a bat he kept for bad students Iruka bopped Naruto on the head. "You're too young too have sex now. So what the hell gave you the idea that it was okay back then!!!" Iruka yelled hitting Naruto with each word.

"Iruka-sensei she's adopted." Naruto yelled through the pain several lumps already forming.

"Oh...Well then what can I do for you?" Iruka asked sitting back down.

'He seems a bit batty' Hana thought to herself.

"Well I want to fill out the forms to get Hana into school." Naruto stated.

"Very well here they are." Iruka said dropping a stack of papers as tall as Hana on top of his desk. He flipped a pen at Naruto and signaled for him to start signing.

"Are these...it?" Naruto asked fearing how much his hand would hurt when he finished.

"Of course not." Iruka laughed. "These are the forms to get the student form. Yep just sign these and then sign one more and you're done"

"Okay then." Naruto sighed as he approached his worst enemy yet.

"So what will I do here?" Hana asked in a meek voice. She really didn't want to get the bat.

Iruka turned towards her. "Well nothing too difficult. We'll teach you jutsu, chakra manipulation, and some minor taijutsu skills." He said smiling.

"What's a jutsu? What's chakra? What's taijutsu? What does nothing mean? What's you mother's maiden name? Can I call you Batty?..." These and more questions spouted from Hana's mouth and each one was even farther away from the original topic. However Iruka answered each and every one.

"Iruka-sensei when you say mother's maiden name is it mine or her's? 'Cause I don't know either of them." Naruto yelled from his paperwork.

"Just put unknown." Iruka yelled back as he went back to answering Hana's questions.

Twenty minutes later...

"Done Iruka-sensei."

"Wonderful. Just sign this" Iruka said showing Naruto a small slip of paper saying 'I give _____ permission to enroll in Konaha's school Signed __________'

A few marks of a pen later. "Thanks Iruka-sensei." Naruto said taking Hana to go get her school supplies.

"Remember she starts Monday! That's the day after tomorrow." Iruka said waving them off.

In the Hyuuga manor at that moment. Neji was in his room looking over his planning board. He made plans early and often and readjusted them to make sure they worked to the peak of perfection. True that most of them were just jokes some of them had actually come to fruition.

"Neji-nii-san? What are you doing." Hinata asked as she walked into her cousin's room.

"Hinata-chan! Just the person I wanted to see." Neji said as he strode over to her and pushed her into the room.

"W-what's on the b-board?" Hinata stuttered as she saw the board.

"Delighted you asked. You see cousin, I have plans for this world. If any of those are to come to fruition I need a team that can help me. The plan you see here, involves you to a great extent. I have signed up for a genin tutoring program in which I will train gifted or late starting shinobi. I need you to convince Naruto to allow Hana to be on my team." Neji said calmly.

"B-but why?" Hinata asked. She thought that Neji hated Hana.

"Because in order to diffuse her incessant questions and energy, she needs to be around students of a colder nature. Naruto however won't trust me enough to get his daughter into this program, which is again where you come in."

"A-alone?" Hinata inquired in a small voice.

"Of course not, Hinata-chan, this plan has been in motion since this morning. There were two teams in on it really. Team one consisted of Lee, Gai, Iruka, and "Weird Al" Yankovic, a visiting musician. Team two will consist of You, me, and unknowingly Naruto. Team one has done there job Lee was under the impression that a issue on his training was on the agenda of the council and that they were going vote on it, he, being Lee, put up thousands upon thousands of posters prompting citizens to vote no on it this also prompted Naruto to come outside. Gai was convinced that Naruto was in trouble so he chased down Lee and made him take down all the posters. This left me open to sneak Mr. Al into Tsunade's office in order to perfom for her. This distracted her enough so that she hasn't noticed that Hana's recommendation has been placed into her paper work. Now this is where team two comes in. If you are able to convince Naruto that Hana should be put with me then..."

"...T-then what?" Hinata asked. She really wanted to know if this would hurt Naruto.

"I'll tell you when you complete your assignment." Neji said as he ushered her out of the room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N I hope you don't mind that I put my favorite musical artist into this. I don't know any artists that are in Japan so I just picked him. I hope you enjoyed. Uhh... well I hope you enjoyed this. By the way I would like to point out that all of your shoes are currently in an untied position....April fools!!! even if it didn't work. Enjoy...please review.


	11. Team Gai babysits

"Team Gai baby-sits"

A/N Hello people I'm back from my scheduled break of about two days...weekends and all. Anyway I just figured that Hana should meet the rest of team Gai. yes Gai not guy. See my profile for my views on GAI'S spelling. Anyway please enjoy.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Three knocks sounded at the door causing Naruto to wake from his dream. As he got up to answer the door he heard voices from the outside.

"But..." The first voice whined, but was inturrupted by the second voice.

"No. You must apologize." The second voice nearly bellowed.

"But, she'll interrupt training." the first voice whined again.

"You should have thought about that before you kicked him."

Naruto had a pretty good idea who it was and what they wanted. 'I don't want to, but if I don't they'll probably bust down the door.' He thought as he opened the door.

"Naruto, How's life treating you? Youthfully I should hope." Gai said striking a pose. He then shot Lee who stood beside him looking ashamed.

"Sorry about kicking you yesterday Naruto." Lee mumbled quietly.

"It's okay Lee. Hurt like a..." Naruto started but was interrupted.

"No!" Gai yelled "It is not okay. Youth will not allow it. Lee must make it up to you!"

"And just how will he do this?" Naruto asked yawning.

"By allowing Hana to train with us of course. She is entering the academy, correct?" Gaipaused for only a second before continuing. "So if she trains with taijutsu specialists such as my team she will catch up and, dare I say it? Surpass the rest of her class!" Gai said.

"Well I suppose. She is probably behind on her taijustu after all. So I'll get today off then?" Naruto paused and when Gai nodded "Okay then just make sure she's back before seven, okay?"

"Deal. Don't worry she'll love it." Gai chuckled.

"Yes Naruto, She will be back at seven sharp, if not I'll do one thousand push ups!" Lee proclaimed coming back to life. He was never one to back down from a challenge.

"Excellent idea Lee! I will, however, up the stakes, If she's not back by seven sharp, I'll do two thousand push ups!" Gai shouted loudly. This continued while Naruto went to wake Hana up and get her ready for her first day of training.

"Hey, Daddy, who are these two!?" Hana shouted when she saw Gai and Lee yelling about something called a push up.

"I'm Gai, I'll be your sensei for the day! This is Lee," Gai said pointing to Lee "And he's doing this for punishment."

"Okay Midori-sensei." She said facing Gai. She then turned to Lee who was looking expectantly back at her. "You have funny eye-brows. His are better." Hana commented.

"But..." Lee began but was immediately interrupted by Gai.

"We are nearly late for training!" He yelled as he picked Hana up and started running. Lee just gave Naruto an apologetic look before following his sensei.

"Good day, here I come." Naruto said before closing his door.

Gai, Lee, and Hana arrived at the training ground with only six seconds left before the deadline. Even though most teams stopped meeting up as often after all of the members became Jounin, Gai had insisted on training together. The training had paid off greatly, so neither Neji nor Tenten had objected.

"Okama!!!" was the first indication that today was going to be bad for Neji.

"Oh no. No, no, no, no, no, no." He muttered. If it was for his plan and he had control of the situation, he had no problems with seeing Hana. However when he has no control of the situation he would rather not see her.

"Hey, Midori-sensei, is she on the team too?" Hana asked glancing at Tenten.

"Yes, I'm on the team. I'm guessing you're Hana." Tenten said. 'Not nearly as bad as Neji described her, nor nearly as great as Gai-sensei made her sound." She thought observing the girl.

"Hello Miss Baker!!" Hana yelled at Tenten.

"Miss Baker? My names Tenten." The weapons enthusiast pointed out.

"Tenten-san I believe that she is talking about your wonderful buns!" Lee said loudly.

"Thanks Lee, yours are nice too." Tenten said blushing slightly.

"But Tenten-san, I do not have my hair in a similar style." Lee said not catching the flirtation

"Baka." Tenten mumbled. [Baka is Japanese for idiot]

"Alright team, I hate to cut the conversation..." Gai started before he realized his mistake.

"Cut?" Tenten asked with a gleam in her eye.

"What's she doing?" Hana asked as Tenten pulled out a small knife.

Gai picked up a log and threw it a short distance from Tenten. "Well for some reason Tenten's flames of youth burn brightest when the 'C' word is said in her vicinity. If not for my quick thinking, she'd begin cutting the nearest thing to shreds, which is usually herself so we just don't say it here." Gai explained as Tenten startedto cut up the log chuckling and saying 'Cut' over and over with increasing vigor.

"Sensei, are we going to be idiots all day or are we going to train?" Neji asked coldly.

"Well I had us scheduled for being idiots today but since Hana's here, you and Lee can stretch while I get her into some proper training attire. Come on Hana, that kimono will never do." Gai said in a sage like tone.

At around 5:00 Naruto was sitting on a kitchen chair. He couldn't wait to just hang out. 'Ah this is the life, nothing planned, no intrusions, and best of all no paper work.' Naruto thought while reclining slightly more into the chair. Suddenly there was a faint knock on the door. He decided to ignore it for a bit. After about five seconds of faint knocking Naruto decided to see who was knocking. He got up and opened the door.

"O-oh, H-hello N-N-Naruto-kun." Hinata said looking away from him to hide her darkening face. 'Oh no, it was supposed to be Hana who answered.' Hinata thought her plan failing before it began.

"Oh hello Hinata. What do you want?" Naruto asked oblivious to her blush.

"H-huh, oh I w-was going t-to s-s-see if um, H-hana wanted to go eat again, k-kinda like the um, other time, at uh, I-ichiraku's" Hinata stuttered while poking her fingers together remembering their first 'date'. During which Narutohad carried her home because she had fainted, while Hana was out doing something with Shino.

"Oh. Well she went training with Gai-senseiand his team. I know I'll go eat with ya, we going to Ichiraku's agian?" Naruto asked while Hinata's blush got darker and darker.

'Another date? But this time without Hana. It will be like, a real date!' Hinata thought slowly. 'Surely this can't be real.' She barely heard herself say "Yes" before she was whisked out of the doorway by Naruto dragging her by the wrist to the ramen shop.

Teuchi was bewildered when he saw Naruto with a girl in his shop again, no less it being Hyuuga, Hinata. "Hey Naruto, on another family outing?" He asked getting ready to cook up a storm.

"No just me and Hinata today!" Naruto said as he promptly ordered miso pork ramen.

"So it's a date?" Teuchi asked nonchalantly.

"You're on a date!?" A second voice yelled from around the back. Appearing with a trail of dust behind her Ayame immediately started bombarding Hinata with questions "How did this happen? How long has it been going on? Are you engaged? Am I invited to the wedding? What are the children's names? Am I asking too many questions? What would you like to eat? What time is it? How's Neji doing? Where's Hana?"

Naruto just chuckled as Ayamestopped talking. "It's not a date just a friendly lunch. She just showed up wanting to eat withHana, I decided to go withher since Hana was gone. About three minutes. No. No. No children. Yes. I don't know. No clue. Why? With Gai-sensei." He then started stuffing his face with ramen again.

"Gai-sensei...You didn't." Tenten said astounded.

"He...did." Neji pointed out in a similar state of shock.

Hana was standing next to Gai. Bothof them were wearing green jumpsuits and standing stiff upright with their right arms thrust straight out while giving the three other jounin present a thumbs up.

"Ready to train Hana?" Gai asked dropping the pose.

"Yes Midori-sensei!" Hana yelled.

"Yes! Let us burn with the flames of youth!" Gai yelled.

"As always Midori-sensei!" Hana shouted.

"Hana!" Gai called.

"Midori-sensei!" Hana responded.

"Hana!" Gai repeated.

"Midori-sensei!" Hana shouted.

"Lee." Lee sniffled. He remembered when He and Gai used to do that.

"Of course! We must get to training!" Gai said as if breaking out of a trance. "Okay everyone stop what you were doing and listen up!" He yelled getting their attention. "Now Lee, take Hana and give her the basics of taijutsu, Tenten you practice throwing multiple weapons at a single target."

"What of me sensei?" Neji asked.

"What is the most powerful force on earth?" Gai asked the prodigy.

"Youth?" Neji guessed.

"As you were." Gai said smiling.

Back at the ramen shop Naruto had tried repetitively to beat Hana's record of fastest bowl of ramen eaten. He failed every time. Hinata sat in the next chair amused by the sight.

**"Kit, I do believe that you are... as the kids say, losing miserably." Kyuubisaid somewhere around the ninth attempt.**

'True but I will win. No one beats me at eating ramen!!' Naruto yelled in his head.

**"Kit, if we were competing, I would demolish you. I'd also eat faster." Kyuubi chuckled.**

'But you could eat a thousand gallons of the stuff in one bite. It's not fair.' Naruto whined at the demon.

**"Chalk one up to demons. The score I believe is around One million nine thousand and seventy six **[1,009,076] **to nine **[9]**" Kyuubi stated. 'Although in all reality, even I have to admit, it is not fair competition.'**

"N-N-Naruto-kun, um, when will Hana need p-picked up?" Hinata inquired quietly.

"Huh? Oh, in about an hour." Naruto stated going back to his ramen.

"O-o-okay." Hinatamumbled under her breath smiling. 'Yay. Another whole hour with Naruto-kun.'

"How was that old man?" Naruto asked Teuchi.

"Two seconds too slow." He bluntly stated.

"Damn! I can't beat it." Naruto cried out.

"Um, maybe if y-you didn't use ch-chopsticks it would work better." Hinata suggested.

"Maybe." Naruto said thinking it over. "One more bowl old man."

"Here ya go, just don't get too messy with it." Teuchi warned.

"Alright." Naruto said slamming his face into the bowl eating at the dish with a vigor unknown to many.

"N-N-Naruto-kun..." Hinata breathed. She was enjoying this more that she should have and she knew it.

"How was that?" Narutoasked his face smeared with bits of food.

"You beat it by two seconds. Now about your bill." Teuchi stated.

"I-I'll get it Teuchi-san" Hinata mumbled.

"Thanks Hinata. Hey if you ever need anything just ask, okay, I sure do owe you one." Naruto said readjusting his head band.

"Alright you two, I hate to kick you out, however it's six. If what you told me is correct, Hana needs to be pried from the jaws of youth." Ayame chuckled.

"But, if he eats more I'll get more money." Teuchi protested.

"Nah. We gotta get Hana before Gai-sensei gets her to do something weird." Naruto stated as he got up to leave, Hinata followed suit.

At the training grounds "Gai-sensei...You didn't." Narutosaid his mouth wide open.

"Ah but he did." Neji called over from where he was sitting.

"Daddy!!" Hana cried as she rushed towards Naruto with speed that no one would expect from a seven year old. As soon as she reached him she hug / tackled him to the ground.

"Ah Naruto, Hana has performed beyond anything I would have expected." Gai said walking up to the duo.

"Okay Hana, we need to go home to get you ready for bed okay." Naruto stated getting up. It had taken them an hour to get to the training ground due to the fact that they got lost a few times. "You start the academy tomorrow."

"Yes! Getting plenty of rest causes your youth to expand." Gai proclaimed.

"Okay then, Neji you want to tag along? I'm going to walk Hinata home." Naruto asked.

"No thank you Naruto, I have important training to do." Neji said watching Tenten bash Lee in the head because he was being a 'Baka'.

They arrived at the Hyuuga manor at Eight O' Clock [8:00]. As soon as it was in sight Hana yelled out to a guard "Hey mister why do you look like a girl?"

"I assure you, I am a male." The guard responded.

"But you have long hair." Hana pointed out.

"Hana stay here with your new friend while I take Hinata up to the door okay?" Naruto more asked than commanded.

"Okay. But you have pretty eyes." She stated causing the gaurd to sigh.

"T-thanks for today N-Naruto-kun." Hinata stuttered blushing slightly.

"Your welcome, I had fun today. Don't forget if you need anything, anything at all, just ask." Naruto said when they arrived at the door.

"Um, a-actually th-there is s-s-s-something I'd l-like." Hinata said her blush darkening.

"Really? What is it?" Naruto asked happy to be able to pay her back.

"A-a-a-a um, h-h-hug?" Hinata mumbled just loud enough for Naruto to hear.

"Alrighty then, your favor." Naruto said as he hugged her tightly. "Why a hug though?" He asked during the embrace.

"N-n-n-no r-r-reason." She stuttered causing it to be hard to understand.

"Well I gotta go. Feel free to drop by anytime." Naruto said releasing the blushing girl.

"G-goodbye Naruto-kun." Hinata said smiling. Happy that she had hugged her crush without fainting and also because he practically invited her back to visit.

"See ya around." Naruto said walking back to Hana and the gaurd, who was still arguing that he was a he and not a she as she had commented. "Come on Hana time to go home and go to bed."

"Bye lady!" Hana called back to the guard who just made a rude hand gesture and went back to patrolling. "So what did you and Tomato do today?"

"Oh this and that. Oh and Hana?" Naruto said.

"Yes Daddy?" Hana inquired shifting her Aburame glasses on her forehead, that she had gotten from 'Uncle Shino' a few days prior.

"Please tell me you're not going to grow really bushy eyebrows."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N Sorry if Naruto'svocabulary seems a bit too intelligent, I can't write withsmall words. I kinda liked this chapter but I couldn't help but feeling that I was missing something, but the feeling is gone so I continue with life. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Next time: Hana's first day at the academy. Now a word from our sponsors [skip if you don't want to see it]

_Air: If you don't like it....don't breath it._

_Gravity: Like bad school kids...it keeps you grounded._

_Nothingness: If there wasn't nothing...there wouldn't be anything._


	12. First day at school

"Our schedule"

A/N: Hello everyone. This story is going on permanent Hiatus. Although you could probably tell by the scroll bar and story under the author's note along with all the other clues that I am lying. The first day of ninja school is here. Please enjoy yourselves. By the way somebody pointed this out, I forgot to tell you that Midori means green in Japanese. Just thought I should clear that up.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hana...Hana." Naruto said shaking the soundly sleeping girl.

"Hmm?" She asked awakening slowly.

"It's time for your first day of school, kay?" Naruto asked the drowsy girl.

"School!!!" Hana screemed at the top of her lungs running towards the door.

Naruto jumped in front of her stopping her mere feet from the door "Wait, you have to get dressed first." He mumbled, being trampled is never fun, even when it's only a seven year old.

"Getting dressed!!!" She yelled heading towards the bathroom. "Can I wear my suit?" She asked.

"Sure, why not." Naruto said shrugging.

"Yay!" She exclaimed as she went to get dressed.

Meanwhile at the main Aburame house [Shino's family]

Shino awoke at exactly 6:00 A.M. as he did every morning. 'Today is my day to cook breakfast.' He thought as he put on his sunglasses. Down in the kitchen his dad was reading a newspaper. "Father, eggs?" He asked shortly out of politeness.

"Beat it." Shibi said not looking up. He was indicating the way he wanted his eggs.

"No." Shino replied as he turned on the oven.

"Bad." Shibi retorted sourly.

"Anything happen?" Shino asked looking at his father.

"Man in the Mirror." Shibi said pointing to a article that told about a man who was flung into a mirror by his enraged wife.

Shino handed his dad some toast. "Any good?"

"Thriller." Shibi replied sarcastically.

"Never mind." Shino said as he went back to cooking. 'I should make lunch for Hana. Knowing Naruto, he'll forget.'

At the academy. "Hey daddy, who are these other people?" Hana asked.

"They're your class mates, or at least most of them are." Naruto shrugged. "Now I gotta go, I have a mission today. I'm going to pick you up after school, kay?"

"Okay Daddy." Hana said as she ran off to bother the nearest person.

"I wonder how she's going to do." Naruto mumbled to himself.

"Me too." A voice from behind Naruto said in an emotionless tone.

"Ah!!" Naruto screamed. " Sai, what do you want?" Naruto asked panting.

"Well, I am here to tell you that you have a mission. Do not worry an alternate transport has been set aside for your daughter." The pale artist said walking off.

"I hate it when he does that." Naruto said to himself.

"When who does what?" Sai said from behind Naruto.

"Ah! But, you...over there." Naruto asked in suprise.

"Clones are nice eh?" Sai said walking off.

"I suppose I should get to my mission then huh?" Naruto asked no one in particular.

"Yes." Came an emotionless voice from behind Naruto.

"What the hell!?" Naruto asked turning around to face the owner of the voice.

"I'm pretty sure that is no way to speak to an old friend." The owner of the voice, who turned out to be Gaara, said. "I heard that you had a child and decided to come and see for myself. You really should go. We'll catch up when you're done with your mission."

"Okay then, see ya Gaara!" Naruto yelled over his shoulder as he ran to the Hokage's office to recieve his mission.

"I really do wonder how he beat me all those years ago." Gaara said watching Naruto's retreating figure.

"Me too." came Sai's voice from behind the pale red head.

"You're the one that insulted Naruto correct?" Gaara asked the artist.

"I am." Sai replied. Half a second passed. Then for the first time in a long while, Sai fled in fear.

Inside the academy. "Hello kids my name is Iruka, and I'll be your sensei for the next...however long it takes." Iruka said chuckling to himself.

"Hey Batty-sensei!" Hana yelled in the back.

"Hana, please sit down. Now..." Iruka started but stopped as two boys started talking in the front. As soon as they stopped he said "No, no, please continue, I would hate to interrupt your important conversation."

"Okay then, as I was saying..." The kid with brown hair started before he was hit square in the head by a bat. He fell on the floor unconscious and bleeding badly. The other kids just stared at Iruka.

"Oh, crap." Iruka said looking from the kid to the bat.

"Iruka-sensei, I think you hurt him bad." A girl only feet away who had some blood on her said. She had purple hair. She was about Hana's height with small circular glasses that flashed when she looked at the boy. She wore a plain white shirt and light grey pants.

"Man, my bat's all bloody. Now I'm gonna have to clean it and repaint it. This is going to be a pain." Iruka said examining his precious equipment.

"I don't think he's breathing." The girl said leaning over the boy.

"Oh. Sorry, he doesn't look to good right now." Iruka said examining the boy's prone form. "Roll him over."

"Okay sensei." The girl said as she rolled the kid over. His eyes were closed and he had blood all over his face.

"Wait a minute. Crap. He dented my bat. Now I'm gonna have to get a new one." Iruka mumbled looking at the slight dent in the bat.

"I think some one should take him to the hospital." The girl suggested while trying to stop the bleeding as best a seven year old could.

"Well I think we should just keep going with class. Understand class that if you become ninja that no one is going to baby you anymore." Iruka said still examining his bat.

"But there are medical ninja in most squads." The girl pointed out.

"Good point. I'll take him to the hospital then. No one leave the room." Iruka said picking the boy up and walked away mumbling about 'Blood on my good shirt.'

"Hey you!" Hana yelled at the girl from three feet away.

"Yes?" She asked.

"What's your name?" Hana asked closing the distance between them.

"It's Tenohira, Kasuri. I'm going to be the best medical ninja of all time." Kasuri said in a tone that could be considered condescending but it was more than likely just a seven year olds way of trying to sound mature.

"Hey look a bird. So what was your name?" Hana asked tearing her attention from the bird.

Kasuri's face grew red in anger "I was talking you know!" She shouted. "And who, may I ask, are you?" She stated in a spiteful tone.

"My name is Uzumaki, Hana. Okay then Tenoko?" Hana asked. [Tenoko means the back of a hand]

"Don't call me that." Kasuri said in a whining tone.

"Why?" Hana asked.

"Because it makes me feel weird." Kasuri replied.

"Why?"

"Because it's not my name."

"Why?"

"Because my parents named me something else."

"But it's a nickname."

"How would you like it if I called you Mimi?" [Mimi means ear]

"I wouldn't mind."

"You a terrible person."

"Why?"

"Because you want to be."

"Why?"

"Because you're rude."

"Why?"

"Because you called me a name."

"Alright class." Iruka called from the door as he came back from the hospital "Take your seats." The group of children who had gathered around Hana and Kasuri sat down.

'I'll show her.' Kasuri thought as she took her seat 'How dare she mock me.'

'I like her.' Hana thought 'I think I made a new friend.'

At the Hokage's office. "Heeey friend." A man of middling height said as Naruto entered Tsunade's office. Said Hokage looked more than relieved to be rid of the man. He was average in height. He wore seeing glasses that were almost too large for his eyes. He had a bushy head of curly brown hair that seemed to resemble Shino's.

"Hello Naruto, you're mission is to get this guy to his village. It is only about three days from here and the risk is minimum. It is a C rank mission." Tsunade said in a bored tone.

"Yeah friend. My names Tokage, Takomaru. I know what we can do!" He suddenly shouted.

"Okay?" Naruto asked. He was kinda surprised how this guy's voice could be an average deepness and still sound squeaky.

"Let's play a game." Takomaru suggested.

"Alright." Naruto said. He liked games, he usually won.

"Look up." Takomaru commanded quickly in a light tone.

"Okay." Naruto said as he looked at the ceiling. It looked as it always did. Plain.

"Now look down." Takomaru commanded.

"Sure." Naruto said as he looked down. The floor was about as interesting as this game was. Not at all.

"Now look at Mr. Frying Pan." Takomaru said.

"What?" Naruto asked as he looked up just in time to get hit full in the face by a large silver frying pan. He immediately fell down in pain.

"Uh oh. Ninja fall down go boom." Takomaru said dropping his frying pan. "I learned that one from a great comedian. I'm a prop comic."

"Ah!!!" Naruto cried as he got up slowly.

"What's wrong ninja?" Takomaru asked in his normal voice tone.

"What's wrong!? You hit me with a frying pan!" Naruto screamed at Takomaru.

"I know, You're hungry arn't you?" Takomaru asked.

"Hungry!? No, I'm not hungry!" Naruto yelled at the comedian.

"You're right we should really get going." Takomaru said as if awnsering a question.

"Naruto remember that you're not allowed to hurt the client!" Tsunade yelled to Naruto as he left her office.

"Takomaru, I have to go make arrangements with something okay? Meet me at the north village gates in about an hour." Naruto said as he went to go arrange who Hana would be staying with for the next three days.

"Okay friend." Takomaru said as he started counting the hair on his wrist.

Hinata was walking towards the academy. 'I hope that I see Naruto-kun today. I heard he had a mission.' She thought as she went towards the pick up area. The school would be letting out soon and she was hoping that Naruto would be there. The bell rung signaling the end of the school day. Hinata almost immediately spotted Hana who was talking to a girl, who didn't look happy to be there, that Hinata had never seen before 'Hana must have made a new friend.'

"So that's when my Daddy said...Tomato!!!" Hana yelled. She missed the glare that Kasuri sent in her direction.

"Hinata? What are you doing here?" Naruto asked appearing beside the now blushing girl.

"I-I c-came to s-see if H-Hana w-would like t-to come v-visit." Hinata said making up a lie on the spot.

"Hm. Hey Hinata, want to do me a huge favor?" Naruto asked remembering that he had a mission.

"Anything f-for y-y-you N-Naruto-kun" Hinata mumbled inaudibly. When she saw that Naruto didn't hear she said "Y-yes N-N-Naruto-kun."

"Can you look after Hana for about three days? I'll owe you one." Naruto said as he explained his request.

"Um, S-s-sure." Hinata stuttered remembering the last time Naruto owed her one. 'J-jackpot' Hinata stuttered in thought.

"Thanks. Here is a key to my apartment if you need anything from there. I'll need it back when I come back. Okay. See ya. Behave for Hinata okay Hana?" Naruto said as he ran off.

"So I'm going to be hanging out with you and your family Tomato?" Hana asked.

"Y-y-yes. We should go talk to father about this." Hinata said as she grabbed Hana's hand and led her towards the Hyuuga home. "Oh, I-I think you sh-should stop wearing th-the jumpsuit."

"Why?" Hana asked.

Hinata then proceeded to tell Hana that as women grow older their bodies change. She lied a lot and blushed the whole time.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N: I think that this one was kinda short. Next time on Daddy!: Hana's second day at school, Her day at Hinata's house, Naruto and Takomaru's first day of the trip. Now a word from our sponsors.

_Brought to you by:_

_Innocence: What better way to make your boyfriend / Girlfriend happy than to give them your innocence? Remember Innocence brand chocolate. Killing more people a year through misunderstandings and innuendos than air._

_Th- l-tt-r -: Sorry w- ran out of -'s whil- typing this story. R-m-mb-r that -'s ar- as -asy as on-, two, thr--. By the way I think w- found som- mor- -'s in the back. Yep._

_ : Filling in space since 1956. Remember if you don't have anything to say say " "_

I hope you enjoyed this chapter please review.


	13. Travel, school, and sleep

"Travel, school, and sleep"

A/N: Nobody seems to have liked Takomaru. Regardless he is kinda important to the story. "This story has a plot?"...the answer to that is, it didn't but I'm gonna start doing an actual story line after the Takomaru arc. Not giving to much away though. Also not to sure when the actual story line will start. Enjoy.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Are we there yet?" Takomaru asked loudly.

"No." Naruto sighed. They were only twelve minutes outside of the village when Takomaru first started asking if they were there yet. They were now only thirteen minutes out of the village and the official count of "Are we there yet?" being asked was fifty two.

"Okay then." Takomaru said as he looked at the surrounding trees.

'Finally. Silence.' Naruto thought gleefully. He never thought that he'd be so happy to not hear anything.

"Saaaay, friend, about how far out are we from Konoha?" Takomaru asked.

"About fourteen minutes. Why?" Naruto asked the comic.

"No reason friend." Takomaru said in a tone of voice that indicated that he did indeed ask for a reason.

"I'm not your friend." Naruto pointed out venomously.

"Why not? Is this because I didn't bring food?" Takomaru asked in a curious tone.

"You hit me with a frying pan." Naruto said in a slow, calm voice.

"Oh...Did I?" Takomaru asked thoughtfully.

"It just happened a few minutes ago!!" Naruto screamed in outrage.

His outburst was met in silence. A few seconds passed before Naruto heard Takomaru ask "Are we there yet?"

Naruto sighed again. 'This is going to be a long day.' He thought.

Back in Konoha. "F-father? C-can I talk t-to you?" Hinata asked her dad who was doing some paperwork at the time.

"Only if it is important." Hiashi replied.

"Um...C-can Uzumaki, Hana stay over f-for a f-few days?" She asked quietly.

"The little girl who did not back away even when faced with the infamous Hyuuga death glare?" Hiashi asked not looking up from his paperwork.

"Y-yes." Hinata responded.

"Fine. She will be sleeping in Hanabi's room. Now leave me be, I have important paperwork to get to." Hiashi said finally looking up from the paper he was holding in his hand.

"Y-yes. Th-thank you father." Hinata bowed and then walked as fast as she could out of the room.

"This should be interesting." Hiashi said aloud as he reached into his desk and pulled out an orange book. "Now I really do wonder what the fuss is about this...Chapter one..." Hiashi said as he started to read.

"Well Tomato?" Hana asked loudly. "Can I stay!?"

"Y-yes... Father didn't seem to m-mind. Y-you will b-be sleeping i-in m-my sisters r-room." Hinata stated barely above a whisper.

"Yay!!!" Hana shouted running around. She then stopped and looked at Hinata. "So I'm sleeping in Okama's room?"

Hinata almost laughed. "N-no Neji-nii-san is my cousin. Didn't I tell you? Anyway H-Hanabi-nii-chan sleeps i-in the room next to me."

"Yay! So when do I meet her?" Hana asked looking around.

"Right now." Came a voice from up a staircase. When Hanabi had emerged into view she looked at Hinata and asked in a haughty tone only Hyuuga's could use "What is it that I hear about sharing my room?"

"W-well um... Father said that Hana must sleep in your r-room." Hinata stuttered.

"Hm... Fair enough. Little girl." Hanabi said looking down at Hana. "I assume she means you, therefore I will point out a few ground rules. You must always address me as Hanabi-sama until I inform you otherwise. Second you are not to touch my closet. Third and most importantly, you will not interrupt my sleep." She said in a commanding tone. She really didn't like ordering people around, however a Hyuuga main branch member must always give orders to their inferiors.

"..." Hana just stared at Hanabi for a second then turned her gaze towards Hinata "Um...is there a change of clothes in your room?"

Hinata nodded and then said "Yes. G-go up there, I'll b-b-be there s-soon."

"Thank you Tomato." Hana replied calmly, turned to the stair way, and then took off running while screaming. "AHHHHH!!! I'm going to dieee!!!"

"Hinata-nii-chan, what was the meaning of that?" Hanabi said staring at the space where Hana had just ran to.

"I-I told h-her th-that if women w-wear sp-spandex suits, l-like the one G-Gai-sensei and Lee-san wear they ex-explode." Hinata said, she then looked as though she remembered something very important, she took off running and called out "Hana, don't touch my closet!"

Hanabi sighed and turned towards the front door as she thought 'Are all people's lives like this? If so maybe I am wrong to admire them.'

With Naruto and Takomaru. "Sooo, are we there yet?" Takomaru asked. It was getting late into the night and he had yet to stop asking that question.

"No. We'll stop here, okay?" Naruto sighed as he set down his pack.

Takomaru set his down as well and then looked at a tree. "Hey, I forgot something, stay here and get some food cooking kay? I'll be back in about two minutes." Takomaru said as he ran out of sight into the woods.

"I should follow him. But he'd probably just hit me with a frying pan." Naruto said to himself as he started cooking the instant ramen.

Takomaru returned just in time for the ramen to finish. "Saaaay, what's for grub?" He put his hand in his pocket as he asked the question.

"Ramen. It's really hot. What did you forget?" Naruto asked. 'He couldn't have left it in Konoha, no one can move that fast. Must be important though.'

'He suspects...' Takamaru thought. "Saaaay, friend, are you lying to me?" He then asked.

"No, it really is hot." Naruto stated bluntly.

"You better hope you're lying." Takomaru stated.

"Why...?" Naruto started before the steaming broth from Takomaru's bowl splashed him in the face. Naruto fell over screaming, grabbing at his face and sweeping the liquid off his face.

"Now I know what you're thinking, probably something along the lines of 'Ahhhhh!!! Get it off of me, get it off of meeee!!!' however I wouldn't advice myself to touch that stuff. From the looks of it, it's very hot. By the way I'm going to borrow you're bowl." Takomaru said as he grabbed Naruto's bowl and started eating. After this episode ended Takomaru fell asleep.

'What a jerk.' Naruto thought as he made another bowl of ramen.

**"Agreed. Let's kill him." Kyuubi said. 'Everything that happens to Kit happens to me too. This guy really is a jerk.'**

'Can't. Obaa-chan would have a fit. You seem awfully friendly as of late. Are you finally a nice little demon.' Naruto thought sincerely.

**"Kit, if you were trapped unable to move for fifteen years, you would jump at the chance to converse with anyone. I, was the freest being on the planet before getting sealed so this need has only increased. But, to answer your question, no, no I am not a nice little demon as you put it, given the chance I would destroy you, your friends, the village, and anyone else to escape. Keeping you alive only increases the likelihood of escape." Kyuubi said in a quite tone.**

'Ah.' Was all Naruto responded with. He then fell asleep.

The next morning at the Hyuuga house hold. Hinata was humming quietly to herself as she cooked breakfast for the family. She always awoke before the others and felt that it was her duty to cook.

"Tomato?" Hana asked sleepily from the doorway.

"Yes?" Hinata replied.

"When do I have to leave?" Hana asked sitting down.

"In about twenty minutes." Hinata answered.

"Hello, Nii-chan." Came a voice from the doorway.

"Oh, h-hello Hanabi-nii-chan, how d-did you sleep?" Hinata asked turning towards Hanabi and nearly shrieked at the sight before her. Hanabi's hair was tangled and knotted all over, it also contained several leafy twigs. Turning her attention to Hanabi's face she noticed that she had bags under her eyes. Her clothes were the ones from the day before, only now instead of being pressed and wrinkle free, it now looked as though Hanabi had wrestled a bear.

"F-fine." Hanabi muttered. She then sat down as far away from Hana as one could get at the table.

"Hey Hanabi-nii-chan, w-would you t-take Hana t-to school?" Hinata asked as she went back to cooking.

Hanabi's head hit the table as she started to cry.

Inside the academy. Hana had already found Kasuri and had started to talk to her were then approached by a boy who said in an apathetic tone "She doesn't like you, I think."

"Who are you!?" Hana said loudly turning her attention from Kasuri to the boy.

"You can call me Unagi, if you want. Everyone else does." The boy said shrugging. He had brown hair that came close to his eyes, his face lacked emotion. He also wore a grey coat with black patches on the arms, shoulders, and back, his pants were just blue standard shinobi pants. He slouched slightly.

"But what's your real name?" Hana asked again.

The boy perked up slightly. "Murasaki, Sitamaru." He said his voice not changing in the slightest.

"Okay then Hidari!" Hana said loudly. [Hidari means left]

The boy didn't respond but went back to his seat because the teacher had entered the room.

"Hello class." Shikamaru drawled. "Iruka-sensei will not be with you for a few weeks due to criminal charges of assault."

"Hey smokestack!!!" Hana called from her seat.

Shikamaru's eyes narrowed slightly before he said "Now we were scheduled to start teaching chakra theory to you guys today. However I have decided that you're taijutsu needs work. fifty laps around the school. Let's go." He signaled for the class to get up and follow.

"Yay!!! Fifty laps!!!" Hana yelled laughing as she ran to be first out of the room.

"It's a hundred for that." Shikamaru said as he walked outside.

'Baka' Kasuri thought when she heard this.

'Wonderful.' Sitamaru thought sarcastically.

"I'm going to win!" Hana shouted as soon as Shikamaru said go. She was far ahead of the class before they started.

'I won't lose to her.' Kasuri thought as she started to catch up.

"How troublesome." Shikamaru mumbled reaching for a cigarette. "It's going to be a long day."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N Another chapter finished. I hope you like it. I based that Sitamaru kid off myself slightly. However he will not be me. So there. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please review. Chapter 14: Why does Takomaru need an escort? What did he forget? What role will Sitamaru have in the story? Why do I keep asking you these questions?

_This chapter brought to you by:_

_Doors: Allowing easy in and out access for over 8,000 years._

_Women: The only thing that gets me frustrated. Keeping the human race alive for over 10,000 years._

_Books: Where else would I put my useless stories?...don't answer that._


	14. Kitty?

"It's all my fault."

A/N: Umm... I suppose I'm a little bit late but I've hit a bit of a dry spell for the plot ideas plus I'm just lazy. Any way I hope you enjoy this story

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Saaay, friend, how much longer until we get to the village?" Takomaru asked.

"About three hours, and stop calling me friend." Naruto replied. 'I'll be more than glad to get rid of him.' He thought

"Okay." Takomaru said happily.

"You know I don't dislike a lot of people, but for you, I'll make an exception." Naruto stated.

"Yay! Independence!"

"That's not a good thing." Naruto sighed.

"Stree Nerge elik I" Takomaru stated dreamily.

"What?" Naruto asked in a disbelieving voice.

"I like green trees." Takomaru pointed out as if it were obvious

Naruto remained quite for a few seconds and then stated "I believe you."

Back in Konoha.

"I'm pretty sure that's illegal." Sitamaru stated answering Hana's question.

"But why?" Hana asked.

"Because ripping off body parts is, in most cultures, frowned upon." He sighed.

"So in others it perfectly okay!" Hana shouted loudly.

"Not quite." He mumbled as Shikamaru called the class to attention.

"Class I have wonderful news." Shikamaru drawled.

"I'm getting a puppy!?" Hana asked loudly with her left hand raised.

"No." Shikamaru stated bluntly.

"You're getting a puppy!?" Hana asked in a similar tone.

"No." Shikamaru sighed.

"Your getting married to that pretty fan lady I saw you with the other day!?" Hana asked leaping from her seat.

"Dear kami, no!" Shikamaru stated loudly. [Kami is god in Japanese...I think]

No sooner had he uttered those words, that a large metal fan came down upon his head leaving a huge bump. "And what is that supposed to mean!?" Temari asked angrily.

"Troublesome woman. Class, this is Temari, she'll be teaching the class today due to a minor... miscalculation on my part." Shikamaru drawled while shooting Temari a look that clearly said 'Damn you'.

"That's right kids, and if your nice, I'll give you some of Shikamaru-san's stuff." Previously mentioned woman stated grinning widely.

"No she won't" Shikamaru said rubbing his head.

"Yes I will." Temari said.

"No."

"Yes."

"Not your stuff."

"Hey, I saved your life. If I want the clothes off your back, I deserve to get them."

"I saved your life as well, twice actually. You can keep your clothes though. Who would want to see you..." Shikamaru started to say but was cut off by a fan to the face.

"Not another word Nara." Temari said a look of rage on her face.

"Whatever." Shikamaru said, content that his stuff was safe from the insane fan-wielding woman.

"Anyway, class today I will be teaching you what chakra is and what it's used for." She said as she started describing the spiritual force used in jutsu.

Back with Naruto

"Please?" Takomaru begged.

"No." Naruto sighed.

"Please?" Takomaru asked.

"No!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Come on, just once?" Takomaru asked again.

"Look if it were a choice between eating ramen with you again or being stabbed in the foot, I would choose to be stabbed in the foot." Naruto said angrily.

**"Bad choice, kit" Kyuubi mumbled.**

'Why?' Naruto asked as he became aware of a dreadful pain in his foot.

"There ya go." Takomaru said grinning.

"I wish I could say that I'm surprised." Naruto said while clenching his teeth in pain.

"Wish granted." Takomaru said grinning even wider.

**"Please. Let's kill him. Hey I'll do it, just rip the seal off."**

'I really don't need this right now.'

**"If I told you that I could count to three million backwards, would that change your mind?" Kyuubi asked**

'No.' Naruto replied. He breathed in deeply as he started to bandage the wound. It wasn't deep it had just hit a painful area.

"You know you should respect me more." Takomaru said as he started walking off again.

"Why in the world should I do that!?" Naruto shouted.

"Because I'm so bad, that I eat cereal for breakfast, without milk." Takomaru said as if it were an impressive feat.

"That's not tough at all." Naruto said.

"Oh yeah, well I also drunk Orange Juice out of the carton, right after brushing my teeth." Takomaru continued.

"Well I killed a man." Naruto stated.

"Well I killed a multi-million dollar industry within ten minutes of becoming an owner."

"I can lift boulders over twice my weight."

"I can pull two magnets apart."

"I can hit a bird in the eye with a kunai without killing it."

"I can read."

Naruto just looked at Takomaru as if he were insane.

"Okay then. On our way." Takomaru said smiling.

**"Okay, I don't even want released, just kill him. I know make it look like..." Kyuubi started.**

'No.' Naruto responded.

**"Do it, now." Kyuubi said in a quite voice.**

'Okay!' Naruto thought.

**"Really!?" Kyuubi asked excited.**

'No, we've been over this.'

**"Join me, and together we can kill this man, in pretty much an instant." Kyuubi said dramatically.**

'Leave me alone.'

"Hey, you know what you remind me of?" Takomaru asked in a thoughtful tone.

"What?" Naruto sighed.

"A kitty, look at the marks, eh, Ko-Neko?" Takomaru asked in a baby voice. [Ko-Neko means kitten]

Naruto just stared, even Kyuubi seemed to be stunned into silence.

**"..." Kyuubi just couldn't believe it. No one had ever called it a kitten, no one. "I'm not a kitty." The kyuubi said sadly "I'm not even in the feline family."**

Naruto chuckled to himself. 'Aw, is kitty gonna cry?' Naruto joked.

**"Quite mortal, this foolishness shall not be tolerated. He will be destroyed." Kyuubi said in a serious tone.**

'He offended you that much?'

**"This offence shall not go unpunished, I am a fox, the Kyuubi, king of demons and ruler of this vessel, I shall not be referred to as a mere kitten ever!!!" Kyuubi shouted in Naruto's head.**

"Let's go friend!" Takomaru called from the distance.

'Look, we can't kill him, but we'll get even.' Naruto told Kyuubi

**"Yes, I can only make him suffer so much by killing him, by the time we're done he'll wish for a death at the hands of the all mighty Fox demon!!!" Kyuubi shouted. "I will have my revenge."**

'Yeah, sure.' Naruto thought.

**"He shall burn!!!" Kyuubi continued.**

"Oh," Naruto sighed "This is getting out of hand quickly."

"You know, I've just realized something." Takomaru said turning back towards Naruto.

"Oh and what would that be?" Naruto questioned.

"I've been a bit, rude, for the last few hours." Takomaru said.

"Really?" Naruto asked sarcastically.

"Yes," Takomaru said as Naruto reached him.

"You don't get sarcasm do you?"

"No. Anyway I've evaluated your performance and have decided that you pass." Takomaru said nodding.

"And that means?" Naruto asked in a bored voice.

"That I want you to have this, take it back to the Hokage, but don't open it." Takomaru said handing Naruto a small scroll.

"Why not?" Naruto asked suddenly interested.

"No real reason, other than this, if anyone other than your current Hokage opens it," Takomaru paused "They will die."

Naruto gazed at the scroll with new respect.

"Nah, just messing with you." Takomaru laughed. "But seriously, that scroll won't mean anything to anyone else."

"So I could open it if I wanted to."

"Nope."

"Why?"

"Because I've rigged it with a seal, don't ask how, that prevents anyone but Tsunade from opening it."

"Wouldn't that mean you know jutsu then?" Naruto asked confused.

"Oh, I know a lot of things, I do pretty much whatever I want. I've been a ninja, a samurai, a land-owner, and a great deal of other things. I have excellent luck in almost anything I want to accomplish really." Takomaru said shrugging.

"Really then?" Naruto asked in a sceptical tone.

"Yep, kinda weird really. Okay then good bye." Takomaru said as he walked away.

"Wait, what?" Naruto asked surprised.

"We've arrived at my village." Takomaru said over his shoulder.

Looking up Naruto realized that they had arrived ahead of schedule.

"Good luck with, Hana, I believe you call her. Oh, and don't worry, we'll be meeting again real soon" Takomaru said as he entered the village.

"Finally." Naruto sighed as he began to walk away.

**"But you promised me revenge." Kyuubi whined from Naruto's mind.**

'Maybe next time, kitty." Naruto laughed.

**"He called you a kitty too." Kyuubi retorted.**

"Oh, this is going to be a long trip." Naruto moaned.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I wanted it to be longer but I just felt like this was a good stopping place. I'll try to update once a month at least, now. Please review.

Dedicated to all the celebrities who have died recently, cause people seem to care about that.

_This chapter brought to you by:_

_Rings: Making Women, Hunchbacks, and Red necks happy for years._

_Cans: Making soda-fanatics and men happy for years. [Figure that one out]_

_George Carlin: Who pointed out a lot of faulty logic during his time on this earth._


	15. End of day Three

"End of the third day"

A/N You are all so nice about my story, so thank you about that. I thought this chapter up reading reviews.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hana, over here." Shino said quietly from some bushes.

"Uncle Shino!!!" Hana shouted running full speed over towards the bushes.

"Hana no!" Shino said loudly.

"Why?" She asked confused. "I thought we were friends. But I guess that fate, is a cruel mistress!" Hana said dramatically.

"You don't know what that means do you?" Shino asked.

"Not a clue!" Hana said grinning. "So what did you want Uncle Shino?"

"I don't have a lot of time, my dad is very upset about recent events, He'll be looking for me in a bit so I have to be fast. I hear that Gai-sensei is looking for you." Shino warned in an ominous tone.

Hana however didn't take it as a warning, on the contrary she seemed most pleased by this fact. "Thanks Uncle Shino!" She said as she ran off to find Gai-Sensei.

"Ah, children, so misguided." Shino sighed.

"Aburame, Shino?" A voice asked from nearby.

"Yes." Shino said in his normal voice as he turned to face the man behind him.

"I'm here to arrest you in a suspected pidophilia case." The Anbu said.

"What. You have no grounds!" Shino said standing up from the bushes.

"Wrong, we have several points of evidence." The Anbu revealed.

"Like what!?" Shino asked in a panicked voice.

"One, you're wearing a trench coat." The Anbu pointed out.

"That doesn't mean a thing."

"Two, you're always wearing sunglasses."

"A feeble piece of evidence at best."

"Three, you have candy in your pockets."

"I happen to enjoy candy." Shino defended.

"And lastly, you have been hanging out in areas where young children frequent." The Anbu said as though he had Shino pinned.

"I look for bugs in the park, I make sure my niece isn't being bullied at her school, and I buy candy at the candy store." Shino stated.

"We're still going to have to take you in for questioning." The Anbu said grabbing Shino's wrist.

"This won't stand, I'll be out by eight." Shino said upset.

Near Gai's training ground.

"Alright team now, we will be training for a mission that will not allow for deadly force!" Gai said loudly to his team.

"But Gai-sensei you told us we would be going on a mission today." Lee said disappointed.

"Yes Lee, but I told you that so you would be able to adapt to changing mission objectives." Gai said revealing his brilliant scheme.

"Gai-sensei, I have to point out that there are very few missions that would require this restraint." Neji said standing by some trees.

"Rescue, recconasaince, employer guarding, and training missions." Gai listed off rapid fire.

"All of which can require deadly force Gai-sensei." Ten-ten said sitting by a training dummy.

"Hm? What was that Ten-ten-chan? One hundred laps around the village? If you want to run them, okay. We are going to spar. Now any more comments or do you really want to do laps instead of spar?" Gai said in a loud voice.

"I said, uh, you are a brilliant and youthful man Gai-sensei, and I'd never think of questioning you, ever." Ten-ten said as she sweat dropped.

"But Ten-Ten, you just said..." Lee began but Ten-Ten threw a kunai at him cutting him off.

"Midori-sensei!!!" Hana screamed from the bushes she had just charged through. She ran right up to Gai and then saluted "Ready for duty." She said loudly.

"Wow, I'm so good at looking for people I don't even have to start before I find them. That just goes to show you Lee, as long as you believe in youth anything is possible."

"Gai-sensei!" Lee said, tears running down his cheek at his sensei's brilliant words.

"Lee!" Gai cried out in a similar state.

"Gai-sensei!" Lee cried again.

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Midori-sensei!" Hana said with tears in her eyes.

"Le...Hana!!!" Gai cried out as loud as he could in surprise and pride.

"Midori-sensei!" Hana cried out as well.

"Wow, just when I thought today would be normal as it could be... This happens." Neji muttered where he stood.

"Oh, come on Neji, it's kinda cool that they add such flare to the day." Ten-Ten pointed out watching as Gai, Lee, and Hana hugged all the while crying.

"Ten-ten-chan, you do not throw a paper bomb into a fire just because you think it needs flare." Neji said in a condescending manner.

"If you're trying to alert a rescue team." The weapons master replied.

"Yes, because you really want to kill yourself just to be rescued." Neji said trying to make a point.

"He's watching Neji, just shut up." Ten-ten whispered through clenched teeth.

"What?"

"He'll make me run laps, just be quite." Ten-ten pleaded.

"What a waste of my time this has been." Neji said as he got up to leave.

"Okay team," Gai said his cheeks dry as though they hadn't seen even a droplet of water "I'm going to help Hana understand the basics of chakra control, Lee you run laps, Ten-ten-chan you go do target practice, Neji, go do whatever it is you do during the day." He said as each went to complete their allotted task.

**"I'm telling you kit, that man had a weird aura about him." Kyuubi told Naruto as they walked through the forest.**

'And you only now bring it up? You just want me to hurt the guy.' Naruto thought.

**"No, I mean it, humans like yourself couldn't recognize it, but there was something familiar about him." Kyuubi said desperately.**

'Okay, where did you sense it before?' Naruto asked.

**"I don't remember, I've overlooked every demon and ninja since before you were born and nothing seems to be exactly like it. Not evil, but not good either." Kyuubi said thoughtfully.**

'What about more recently?'

**"Kit, my memory has gone a little bad since I was sealed, You humans seem to remember very unimportant details. We Kitsune just remember mates, hunting grounds, dens, and potential enemies. I have to sift through every single unimportant piece of information that you've ever seen, heard, thought, or felt." Kyuubi informed him.**

'Well keep me updated, eh?'

**"You don't understand how bad this is." Kyuubi stated as he went back to thinking.**

"Hana!!" Gai cried out in joy. "You've caught on so fast. I know I'll see if you can't do this jutsu." Gai said loudly.

"Gai-sensei!" Lee shouted as he leapt into the field. "I heard you yelling and ran.... what did Hana do?"

"Uh... Nothing... I was just telling her how she should rely on Taijutsu because Ninjutsu is dangerous. Now go back to laps and don't interrupt me again."

"Sorry Gai-sensei, to make up for this intrusion I will run the laps on my hands!" Lee cried out his challenge to the world as he went to complete it.

"Okay, Hana I know I promised to teach you a jutsu but it's just too dangerous. So I will take you to a man who is one of the best ninjutsu users in the village. Hatake, Kakashi!" Gai shouted.

"Sohu?" Hana asked. [Sohu is Grand father]

"..." Gai didn't respond. He just turned away from her and shook at irregular intervals. After a few moments of this "Okay, let's go visit your... Sohu." he said in a weird tone.

A few minutes later they arrived at Kakashi's house. When he opened the door, Gai sprung into the man's abode and proudly proclaimed "I have been entrusted with the task of handing over your..." Gai paused as he laughed silently "Magomusume!" He finished as he laughed out loud. [Magomusume means Grandaughter]

"...Get out of my house you criminal." Kakashi told Gai.

"Okay, just teach her a jutsu... She's great at chakra control!" Gai laughed as he exited the house.

"Hello Sohu!" Hana shouted as she started running around Kakashi's house.

"Hey, Hana, wanna meet a very good friend of mine... She'll teach you great jutsu just like you dad's" Kakashi lied.

"Yeah!"

"Great, she lives a little bit away from here."

At the Hyuuga estate.

"Imoto-chan, h-have you seen Hana?" Hinata asked Hanabi as she entered the room. [Imoto is younger sister.]

"Yeah, I think Gai-sensei was talking to her."

Hinata considered this for a brief moment. She then ran out of the room as if trying to escape from a raging bull.

"Okay, so in exchange for looking after Hana I'll let you see me without a majority of my mask, and I'll buy all the dango you eat for the next week." Kakashi said.

"It's a deal, Hatake-san. Still don't know why your so desperate to get this girl off your hands, you've seen how I eat dango." Matarash, Anko said shutting the door on Kakashi's face. "Okay, so your name is Hana correct!?"

"Yes." Hana said examining some of Anko's furniture.

'Fresh meat, this outta be fun.'

An hour later.

"Matarashi-sama?" Hinata asked as she knocked on Anko's door.

"Salvation!!!" yelled a loud voice on the other side of the door. When the door was opened Hinata was shocked by what she saw.

"You're Hinata right, good, take this monstrosity with you!!!" Anko said as she pushed Hana out of the door. The brief glimpse that Hinata saw would suggest that Hana had found a lot of make-up and twigs, and had then decided that Anko needed a makeover.

"Guess what, Tomato? I learned a jutsu today!!!" Hana shouted excited.

"That's great Hana. I'm just happy you're safe. Let's go check if Naruto-kun is back yet."

"Yay!!!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N I'm thinking about moving the author notes with the meaning of the words to either the beginning or end of the chapter. Oh well... I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

_This chapter was brought to you by you._


	16. Return

"Chapter 16: Finally, some rest."

A/N: Yeah… Hey it's me… I know it's been a while… and I'm very sorry for that… but some… stuff happened at school and I almost had to go to jail… then I got lazy for a while. Then I made me a sandwich and forgot the name of the site I posted on. So here I am, back on good ol' . Yeah… by the way, I'm in the process of writing a book, if you'd like to read the part I have done thus far, just put your email address in a review and if there is any genre you won't read. Without further delay, [around a year almost already] let's get back to Daddy!

* * *

"Hey Daddy!" Hana yelled out approaching her adoptive father with a speed unrivaled by other seven year olds.

"Hey Hana. How are you doing?" Naruto responded smiling broadly, when Hana first forced him to be her father he didn't think he'd end up liking her, but as more and more time went by, the more he felt like he was her real father… and sometimes he thought, maybe she needed a mother.

** "Bow chicka wow wow, eh kit?" Kyuubi laughed loudly, the sound resonating in Naruto's ears. **

'Shut up kitten.' Naruto responded a look of annoyance crossing his face.

** "Dick move man… dick move." Kyuubi responded sounding sad.**

'Are you… are you crying?' Naruto asked genuinely concerned.

** "No… now go away; I don't wanna talk to you." Kyuubi sniffled before sobbing loudly into one of its nine tails**

'Oh… I'm sorry… uh… is there anything I can do to make it up to you?' Naruto asked feeling like a real jerk.

** Kyuubi sniffled a few times before replying "Well… there is one thing…" Kyuubi responded sounding a little happier.**

'I'm not letting you out fur ball.' Naruto responded.

** "Why do you patronize me…?" Kyuubi sobbed "I just wanted a hug, is that too much to ask! IS IT?" Kyuubi cried out, literal rivers of tears exploding from its eyes.**

"Oh…" Naruto said aloud sounding sad.

"Daddy? Are you okay?" Hana asked also sounding sad at the thought of Naruto being sad.

"No Hana… just a… friend of Daddy's is sad right now." Naruto replied looking down at the girl.

"Did you give them a hug? My friends are always happier after a hug." Hana responded.

"And it's a good thing you're friends have you to keep them happy." Naruto replied trying to be nice, though for some reason, he got the feeling that Hana's hugs didn't make people as happy as she thought they did, in fact her hugs hurt a little bit.

"K-ko-ko-ko… hello Naruto-kun." Hinata said, having been content to remain quite up until this point.

"Oh hello Hinata, how have you been doing? You take good care of my daughter?" Naruto asked giving Hinata a grin that expressed pure joy and caused her to melt a little.

"Yes, I took very good care of her. And I would have taken great care of you too." Hinata said thinking the last part aloud.

"I'm glad you'd be hospitable to me too." Naruto said grinning not catching what Hinata meant.

"Yo-you heard that!" Hinata asked her pupiless eyes widening in shock.

"Yeah. And I'm glad you'd let me stay at your house." Naruto remarked.

"I'd do more than that." Hinata said again thinking aloud, having got into the habit after hanging around herself for a while.

"Like?" Naruto asked genuinely confused.

"Oh fu-uhhhhhhhhh, I'm gonna go now!" Hinata said nearly cursing before she scurried off to her home blushing immensely.

"Hey Daddy?" Hana asked looking up at her father while still waving at Hinata.

"Hm? Yeah Hana?" Naruto asked glancing down at the small girl.

"What does fuck mean?" Hana asked innocently.

"What!" Naruto asked nearly dropping the small girl in surprise that she had picked up such harsh language.

"I heard Tomato say it a couple of times… usually after she messed something up… but I also heard it a couple times at night." Hana remarked.

"Well, uh… You see… when two adults… uh… It's a bad word… don't use it." Naruto remarked blushing, though he had no idea why Hinata would be saying it after dark, or why such a shy girl would be saying it at all.

"But it doesn't hurt anyone does it?" Hana asked, not seeing why something that didn't hurt anyone, like a word, should be such a bad thing.

"Yeah… but some adults get offended when people say things like that. So just don't say it okay? When you're older you can use it." Naruto compromised "And uh… if you use it I'll… take away Ichiraku Ramen forever." Naruto said trying to fulfill the tough parent routine he figured this situation called for.

Hana's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates "For-forever!" She asked her tone similar to that of one who has just been denied every pleasure the world has to offer, and is instead reduced to living with no sort of happiness.

"Forever." Naruto nodded, though the pain in Hana's tone hurt him almost as much as his threat hurt her.

"I'll never say fuck again! I promise!" Hana shouted before slapping her hands to her mouth, her eyes welling up in tears.

"Don't worry Hana. That one doesn't count." Naruto replied smiling a bit at her reaction as he set her down and crouched so that he was at eye level with the young girl "Now, you be a good girl and go home, and I'll be right with ya okay? I just gotta go file a report… and assault charges… and go to a doctor… and write a strongly worded letter with lots of capitals and exclamation points." Naruto said his smile slipping from his face.

"Okay Daddy!" Hana shouted before head butting him in the chest a little "Don't be gone too long!" She said before she skipped off happily in the direction of their home, her world was complete, her father was home, she was becoming a ninja, and she hadn't gotten hit by a bus. Life was good.

"Hm… I never would have figured Hinata one to curse… but I guess that everyone deserves one little guilty pleasure." Naruto remarked before heading off to the hokage tower to file his report and assault charges.

"Naruto!" A voice that Naruto couldn't recognize called out as though panicking.

"Yeah? Who are, oh hey Shin…" Naruto started but was interrupted by Shino slapping him.

"Shut up, we don't have a lot of time! You've gotta tell them I'm not a pedo!" Shino said desperately pointing at the two anbu behind him.

"You're a pedo?" Naruto asked not sure what that was.

"That's good enough for us, come on you sick weirdo, you're goin' downtown." The anbu said grabbing Shino's arm.

"He-elp!" Shino sobbed as the anbu drug him away "Naruto! Call Hinata! Tell her it happened! KIba was right! We've got a whiskey delta! Red alert! FIGHT THE POWER!" Shino called out sounding as if he was in shock and half-way to insane.

"Okay!" Naruto shouted back. Looking at the hokage tower and then at the setting sun, Naruto decided that he could do all that tomorrow, and that tonight, he'd just hang out with his daughter. Smiling that he finally was free of the annoying man with a frying pan, he headed off towards his home.

Little did he know, that a man was watching his every move, noting several subtle things, as he jotted them down on his notepad. His research was finally coming to an end. Soon, he could strike.

* * *

A/N: Yes it's kinda short… and I hope it was worth the wait, if not just give me this and next chapter to get back into the groove. I hope this is as good as it used to be. Next time I promise more funny antics, but this chapter, I wanted to just show that Hana and Naruto can be a normal family, and that we all have our own little mannerisms, even the most innocent of us. Tune in next time for more hijinks… and I promise no half year wait this time.


	17. Nighttime adventure!

"Chapter 17: "Night time happenings"

A/N: Yes! It is indeed I, your powerful lord and master… oh… right, you don't know about that yet… well, uh… regardless, let's continue on another point. I have been informed that Tomato was also the nick name of Naruto's mom. Now, the reviewer who left this, I had no idea of this. And while it's possible I was misinformed, I find this a hilarious coincidence. But let's get on with the story. So without further stalling… Who here's a fan of Brandi Carlile? What? I'm not stalling… fine… on with the story. Do any of you… fine… Never get to do anything around here.

Naruto rested the small sleeping form of his daughter on the bed, smiling at her tiny form. He honestly didn't think that he'd ever get used to having a daughter. But, he started to think of what would happen if he was killed during a mission, or murdered. "Who'd take care of her then?" He thought aloud as he lay down on the couch, wanting to be alone for a while.

"**We need to talk." Kyuubi interrupted sounding halfway between grief filled and pissed.**

'Go away fur ball, I don't want to ta-…" Naruto started however he was swiftly interrupted by the room starting to swirl and grow dark, and slowly replace itself with a small meadow full of flowers of various shades and hues.

**"I won't be kept waiting this time Kit." Kyuubi snarled, still enshrouded in darkness despite the sunny state of the meadow.**

"Fine, what do you want Ko-neko-san." Naruto asked smiling at the insult.

**"Stop your insolence you fool! We have important matters to discuss!" Kyuubi boomed the darkness starting to swirl and dissipate, the white peaceful clouds in the meadows sky growing dark and dangerous as thunder clapped and wind blew tearing several plants from the ground.**

Naruto was forced to close his eyes as a cloud of dirt swirled into the air. After a few minutes of this Naruto was blown to the ground as he cast a glance upwards. No longer was there a huge typhoon of darkness, instead a figure around his size, which looked vaguely familiar stood there still enshrouded in darkness.

**"We have little enough time as it is." The figure said as the meadow started returning to its pristine state.**

Closing his eyes as he stood up, Naruto opened his eyes to view the Kyuubi's smaller form. Once he realized what had happened, his mouth fell in shock, before him was the form of a beautiful woman, stark naked.

**"Hm… it's been a long time since I have used this form." The woman remarked its voice still resonating throughout Naruto's mindscape as it looked itself over. Despite its red eyes, it looked like a normal woman.**

"Kuh, kuh, kuh, Kyuubi!" Naruto asked surprised at the revelation that Kyuubi was a woman.

**"Surprised kit? I can assume human form at will. I am a creature of pure chakra now, I can assume many forms." Kyuubi remarked and as though to prove it's point it transformed into several of Naruto's friends before settling for the womanly form again, though this time fully clothed in a traditional kimono.**

"Uh, uh…" Naruto asked "So you're a shape shifter now?"

**"I have been for many years Kit. Fifteen right around now." The kyuubi said smiling obviously proud of this talent.**

"So…. You're a cross-dresser?" Naruto asked innocently.

**"Duh, what! NO! I'm not a cross dresser! Since I am a being of pure chakra I have no need for reproductive organs so I have never been a man or a woman!" Kyuubi said pissed off once more.**

"So… you're a she-male?" The blond knucklehead remarked thoughtfully.

**"Yes… Wait! No! NO! Stop laughing!" Kyuubi said sounding childish and embarrassed at what it had said, though Naruto didn't catch this, he was too busy laughing.**

"You're a girl and, and a guy!" He laughed literally rolling on the ground.

**"I'm neither! Shut up!" Kyuubi said its womanly form starting to revert to a teen-ager state.**

"HAHAHAHA!" Naruto laughed loudly.

**The kyuubi's form blushed, this was definitely not going the way she had hoped "STOP!" It shouted as it lunged at Naruto fully intending to beat the living hell out of the young ninja, before she seemingly hit a solid wall and flew back burn marks all over its body and clothes, though both of these things healed quickly. Obviously, though the cage was no longer visible, it was still in existence. After all, she could only meld Naruto's mindscape so much.**

Naruto was about done laughing at this point and he sat up, still chuckling a little "So, so, hehehehe, Mister-Misses Kyuubi, what did you want me for?"

**"Mother fucker…" She said slowly getting up some tears in her eyes "I think I'm a bit closer to figuring out where I had felt the evil presence, on that INSOLENT SON OF A BITCH!" Kyuubi said shouting the last part in a wailing shriek, before seemingly remembering that Naruto was there, and calmed down "I felt a similar presence earlier today… Right after the insane man was dragged away."**

"So? What do you want me to do?" Naruto asked starting to wonder if perhaps Kyuubi was telling the truth about Takomaru being evil. Though, he still honestly thought that she just wanted him killed, for the kitten comment.

**"Just… Just be careful… that's all." Kyuubi responded a tone of caring in her tone.**

"And you had to bring me here to tell me this?" Naruto asked sensing that Kyuubi had an ulterior motive.

**"Well…" Kyuubi said sounding thoughtful for a second before shaking her head "No… that was it." She said darkness starting to envelope her form, as once again the meadow swirled around and changed shape back to the dark sewer that it usually was "Now, get some sleep." The voice said halfway between the womanly tone and the dark tone of the Kyuubi that Naruto was used to.**

"Dad! Yeah! This is VERY important! Stop crying he's dead already, just get the… Yes… well… I'M IN JAIL! YOU CAN HELP ME!" Shino shouted into the phone, never before having a need to get upset, though, there's a first time for everything.

"I don't care! I don't have that kind of money!" Shibi replied back into the phone wiping away some tears.

"What could you possibly have spent it on? The clan has plenty of money, that aside, you have plenty of money!" Shino remarked returning to his calm state, knowing that the clan's money was only to be used in absolute emergencies, such as the rebuilding of Konoha, or the rebuilding of the Aburame abode.

"Uh… promise you won't get mad?" Shibi replied after a short silence sounding like a child who was just caught doing something naughty.

"That depends… father." Shino responded honestly not sure how he'd react to anything.

"I spent it… on… a statue." Shibi said sheepishly.

"A statue! OF WHAT!" Shino asked shocked, his father was always known as a man who didn't spend money on luxury.

"Of… of… Of me." Shibi replied.

"Bu… WHY!" Shino asked beyond pissed at this point.

"Well… I'm getting old son… I want to be remembered when I'm gone." Shibi admitted, signs of actual normal humanity showing through.

"WELL I'LL ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU AS THE JACK ASS WHO LET ME STAY IN JAIL NEXT TO SOME CREEP WHO KEEPS EYEING MY SHOES! WHEN DID YOU EVEN BUY IT!" Shino shouted into the phone kicking the weird man next to him, hard enough to move the man a few feet away.

"Uh… twenty minutes after you were arrested… Now I know… hello? Hello? Shino, are you there?" Shibi asked before he realized that his son had hung up on him. Glancing at the solid gold statue of himself heroically posed, he sighed "You still love me… don't you statue?"

"No… no… you're a pretty huge jerk man… I can't even look at you." Shibi mimed as he turned the statue away from himself.

"Well fine! Forget you. At least my bugs still love me." Shibi remarked, when suddenly bugs started pouring out of his pores "What! Oh come on! That's not even funny." Shibi shouted as the bugs formed a large frowny face in front of him before resting on the ceiling.

"Shikamaru?" Temari asked glancing around her friends scantily decorated apartment, it was small, with only two rooms worth mentioning, the bedroom and the living room. The apartments lighting was also very bare, featuring two lights per room, all of which could turn on separately.

"Yeah Temari?" Shikamaru asked glancing down at the shogi board, he already saw twenty seven moves he could make to win in anywhere from ten to twenty moves, but he enjoyed dancing circles around his opponents. He moved one of his pieces into a rather novice position as bait, as a smirk appeared on his face, the position of the piece was wide open for attack but it was also in a good attacking spot. Strategy depended on what your opponent thought you were thinking, as much as what you were actually thinking.

"Have you ever considered moving?" She asked her eyebrow perking up at the move, it was too stupid to be a genuine move, and so instead of taking the piece, she moved a piece totally unrelated to the hot spot on the board.

"Hm… No, not really. Why?" Shikamaru asked, his smirk falling, as he realized she wouldn't fall for such a simple maneuver.

"Well… I was just thinking. That this place looks a bit lonely." Temari replied trying to keep up her courage to go through with her plan.

"I like lonely. I don't have to deal with troublesome people. I can just relax." Shikamaru returned as his eyes widened a small amount at the move she had just made "Piss…" he mumbled.

"Well… I was uh… thinking. I'm in konoha a lot…. And I suggested to Gaara that maybe, I could live in the village as a… live-in liaison, since I'm here so much. So… that's a dick move man." Temari said snapping her attention back to the game as she moved a piece to counter it "So, I've been thinking… maybe… we could… move in together?" Temari asked hoping that he said yes.

"How much rent?" Shikamaru asked seemingly uncaring.

"Well… since I'm an important person, probably very low. It all depends." Temari remarked blushing at the fact that Shikamaru was considering it.

"Hm… alright… I'll do it." Shikamaru said no trace of emotion in his voice as he noticed a way Temari could win, as he quickly moved a piece to defend against it.

"R-really!" Temari exclaimed, her tone betraying her excitement.

"Yeah, it's almost time to pay rent and I'm flat broke." Shikamaru remarked.

"Oh… oh, okay." Temari replied crest fallen that Shikamaru was just using her like this.

"Besides, you're not the most troublesome woman to be around." Shikamaru admitted, and for most people, this would be an insult but considering that this was Shikamaru it was similar to him proclaiming that he was going to slam his head into a wall until a full scale picture of her was ingrained into it.

Temari's eyes welled up with tears of joy, sure it wasn't as intimate as she would like, but it was an amazing first step that she had been waiting for, ever since a few weeks ago when she realized that she cared for Shikamaru as a little more than a friend. "Thank you." She replied, wiping her eye.

"Are you okay?" Shikamaru asked genuinely concerned for her, when he saw her tears, afraid he had done something wrong.

Temari burst out laughing, and it wasn't the kind that romance movies portrayed women using, this was full blown laughter. "I'm better than okay! I just won!" Temari shouted as she moved her final piece into place sealing Shikamaru's fate.

A look of disbelief crossed his face as he examined the board, realizing slowly, that he had indeed lost.

"Take that bitch! I kicked your ass!" Temari shouted at the top of her lungs laughing maniacally as though she were a mad woman.

Shikamaru slowly slid from the chair he had been sitting on, she had beat him with a beginners move. He, who prided himself at being a genius at shogi, had lost to a beginners move. He slowly fell to his knees, as he lost all strength due to shock. Slowly he fell into the fetal position on the floor as the blonde woman above him shouted obscenities at the sky. He couldn't believe that he agreed to live with that.

A/N: I hope this was funny my pretties, as for the last one, that was more of a practice for romance scenes, since this isn't just a comedy, not that you would notice, though I tried to make it funny near the end. I know ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about shogi, so I just imagined Chess and replaced the word Chess with Shogi. This chapter is a bit longer than some of the others, so I hope you enjoy it. And I hope that it's good enough to warrant the long wait you had to put up with. Oh, and remember children, cyanide may taste delicious, but it's not a good idea to gargle it.

In memory of: William "Bill" Overbeck, treasured father figure, leader, and military service man. Throughout thick and thin, he looked out for his friends, and was not above violence if it would save them. He died protecting his adoptive daughter Zoey, his best friend Francis, and his great friend Louis. Though we no longer have him around as a mentor, we can always look towards his example as a means of bettering ourselves.


	18. Order in the Court!

Chapter 18: "Order in the court!"

A/N: I'm gonna be updating a bit more randomly I'm afraid, but I'll try to do it once a month from now on. The reason for the less scheduled updates is because I'm writing a book, which is very important to me, but I won't abandon this fic! THIS I SWEAR! Anyhow, we must now delve into the dark territory, my imagination. Be aware that the corpses of your friends can be used as a floatation device.

* * *

Shino stared at the wall of his small cell, his glasses having been removed from his possession, so he had tied a small cloth to his face to conceal his eyes. He never had been comfortable with wearing glasses. "I don't belong here!" The young ninja said as he pondered his next move.

"None of us belong here kid, but as far as they care, we deserve to be here for just breathing the wrong way. I'm Shikamaru, what's your name?" The man in the adjacent cell remarked.

"I'm Shino. I have a friend named Shikamaru. Shikamaru, Nara. You know him?" Shino asked

"No I don't know anyone named Shikamaru." The man replied.

"Not even yourself?" The bug user asked smiling at his joke.

"I'm not Shikamaru. My name's Gokumaru." The man corrected the innocent jail-bird.

"Oh, I thought you said Shikamaru. Sorry about that Gokumaru." Shino apologized.

"Hey kid, me and you are talking, don't ignore me!" Gokumaru said sounding ridiculously angry.

"But you said you're names Gokumaru!" Shino protested sadly.

"Who's Gokumaru! What kind of stupid name is that! My name's Steve!" Steve/Gokumaru/Shikamaru said.

"Okay, Steve's not even a name. You're messing with me aren't you?" Shino said getting annoyed at the other man's antics. Especially, now that he had started to spout gibberish.

"Of course Steve's not a name! What kind of name is Steve?" The man said starting to sound crazy.

"Excuse me guard?" Shino asked softly.

"Yeah, what is it you piece of criminal filth? I mean, Less-than-law-abiding-slightly-dirty-being?" The guard asked silently cursing the new politically correct term for Criminal Filth.

"How long has the man in the next cell been here?" The reserved young man asked curiously, wondering how long it took for people to go insane in Konoha prisons.

"Um…" The guard stalled as he looked at the prisoner "Actually… Wait a second, you're not a prisoner!"

"So? I wanna be a prisoner today!" The man yelled at the guard.

"Get the hell outta here you crazy bastard! I mean, Less-than-sane-man-with-an-unknown-father!" The guard said, cursing political correctness in general. He approved of equality, but when people where crazy, changing the name didn't help much, in his opinion.

"NEVER! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" The man said running from the cell after flinging the door open. He then ran by Shino's cell. "Come friend! I'll save you! Cheese grater of doom!" The man shouted as he started bashing Shino's cell with a cheese grater produced from his shirt pocket.

"Get him!" The guard yelled as he tackled Steve/Gokumaru/Shikamaru to the ground. "Now, you're gonna go back to an asylum!"

"But I don't want my cheese grater to be lonely! Cell man! Take Cheese! Keep her safe for me! I love you honey!" The man shouted as he threw the cheese grater at Shino's cell, and due to its small size, it flew in effortlessly, and struck Shino, right in the family jewels.

Laying on the ground several minutes later Shino was crying his eyes out, the world just seemed to hate him this month. 'I just got beaten by a crazy man and a cheese grater…' Shino thought still crying.

"Hey, kid, you got a visitor." The guard said panting from the exertion of transporting the crazy man out of the prison.

"Who?" Shino asked tears streaming down his face.

"Uncle Shino?" A small voice said curiously "Why are you in a play pen?"

"Hana!" Shino said getting up, hope filling his body as he ran towards the bar.

"Yeah Uncle Shino?" Hana asked walking up to the bars, though the guard didn't seem to think it was safe he didn't say anything.

"Hana! You've got to tell them I'm not a pedophile! Tell them I didn't touch you!" Shino said desperate.

"But Uncle Shino you did touch me." Hana said innocently, not seeing why her uncle was in a big play pen for touching her on the shoulder, or giving her a pat on the back.

Shino's mouth almost literally hit the floor. Shock filled his body as he processed what had just happened, the girl he loved like a niece had just said he'd touched her. "I never touched you!" Shino shouted his voice cracking from strain.

"That's enough, little girl, you need to go now. You can see this… creature, get what he deserves after his trial, he can never hurt you again."

"Bye uncle Shino! Have fun!" Hana waved while smiling as she was escorted by the guard, who was full of sorrow, how could people do this to a child.

"I didn't do anything! I swear! It's a misunderstanding!" Shino called out loudly. However the guard for the most part ignored him.

XXX XXX XXX XXX XXX XXX XXX XX X XX XXX TIME SKIP XXXX XXX XXXX XXXXXXX XXXXX XXX TIME SKIP XXXX XXXXXX XXXXXX XXXXX

The next day Shino was standing in a courtroom dressed in his normal attire, plus a tie, for it always helped to look formal. "Your honor, I plead not guilty."

The judge a short man who was sitting on a very big chair with several books in the seat so that he could see the defendant nodded lightly "Alright, let the trial for Aburame Shino begin." The judge said sounding as if he had already made up his mind.

"Your honor, this… creature, has had several pieces of evidence presented against him, and he is indeed wearing most of them. If it would please the court I'd like to point out that he is wearing a trench coat!" A collective gasp went through the crowd "Sunglasses!" Another large gasp was heard "Weird hair!" This time the crowd was silent "And most importantly, he has pictures of children in his wallet!" The attorney said loudly, as another gasp went through the crowd.

"What! No I don't!" Shino protested loudly, he didn't even have a wallet; he carried no money on him unless absolutely necessary, so wallets were just wasted space.

"Oh really Mr. Pedo-the-dinosaur? Then just what is this?" The lawyer said producing a wallet from a bag labeled evidence. Opening it up several pictures fell out of children running around and playing.

Shino was quiet for a second "That's not my wallet." He said calmly.

"Oh really? Then why is your name on it?" The attorney said spinning the wallet around to reveal "Shino the pedo's" written really big on the side.

"What idiot puts his name on a wallet? And more importantly, if I were a pedo, which I'm not, but if I were, why in the hell would I put it on my wallet full of children's pictures?" Shino asked annoyed to the point where his quiet demeanor was far out the window.

"So it IS your wallet?" The lawyer remarked flashing a smile indicating that he thought he had Shino cornered.

"I was speaking hypothetically, it's not my wallet." Shino said starting to get angry.

"So you're denying it's your wallet?" The man asked flashing another smile.

"Yes!" Shino said happy to finally be getting somewhere with these people.

"So you admit that you're denying it's your wallet?" The Lawyer asked.

"Yes! I am!" Shino said his annoyance starting to return.

"Hear that! He admits that he's denying it. So that means it IS his wallet, but he's not going to say it is." The man continued, even throwing the present Nara Shikamaru for a loop with the logic.

"Gah… guh… guh…" Shino said his face falling.

"Hm… so it's his wallet, and he admitted that it's his, but that doesn't prove much… Just that It's his wallet." The judge said a drawl coming out of his voice.

Shino wasn't sure if he was lucky or unlucky to get such an idiot judge. The word manipulation the lawyer had just pulled probably would have convinced many people of his guilt. "Wait! I want Uzumaki Hana to come to the stand, just talk to her about it! I swear she'll clear all this up." Shino said calmly.

"Aburame-san, I would appreciate it if you didn't yell in my courtroom." The judge said reaching for something under his desk.

"But… I'm not yelling." Shino said starting to think this judge was an idiot.

"Alright, I didn't want to have to threaten you with this, but…" The judge said producing a small aerosol can from beneath the desk "If you don't calm down, I'll kill ALL your insects."

"Okay! Calm down… no need to be hasty." Shino said nearly losing control of his bladder at the sight of the deadly substance.

"Okay then… Someone find Uzumaki Hana, and we'll question her." The judge said to a nearby anbu however, before the anbu could move anywhere a small girl approached the front of the courtroom with gusto. "Um… who are you?"

"I'm Uzumaki Hana, I'm seven years old, and I'm gonna be a ninja. My daddy is friends with Uncle Shino, and he knows Tomato, and Numb Skull. We like Ramen and Uncle Shino buys me stuff sometimes. And we play horsey a lot." Hana proclaimed loudly and excited that she got to play another game with her uncle and all these people.

Shino's banged his head into the desk when Hana said 'horsey', because he knew exactly what all these people were thinking.

"Uh… huh… Anyway, please sit up here Miss…" The attorney said leading the small girl to a seat, and then picked up a doll from his desk "Can you show me where he's touched you?"

"Yes." Hana said "Here, here, here, here, here, here…" Hana pointed to the head several times.

"What are you doing?" The lawyer interrupted confused.

"I'm showing you were he touched me. He touched me here once and here once and here once." Hana said as she started once again poking the doll in the head.

"Okay, okay. Look Miss Uzumaki, I only want you to tell me, if he ever touched you here." The man said as he pointed to the crook between the doll's legs.

"No… why would Uncle Shino touch me there?" Hana asked cocking her head to one side confused.

"Has he ever made you touch him there?" The man asked pointing to the same spot.

"… No… But he gave me candy once, it was tasty, then we went to his house and I danced with his dad, and his dad was fun." Hana said starting to get bored with the conversation.

"Well… tell us about the game horsey." The lawyer asked.

"Well… He puts me on his shoulders, and then we run around the village, he doesn't go as fast as Midori-sensei, but I like Uncle Shino's rides better." Hana said happily, getting interested in the game again.

"Hm… uh… SUNGLASSES!" The lawyer shouted seeing his case falling apart. The crowd murmured at the lame attempt.

"Hm… you are very convincing, but, I've made my decision." The judge said as he mulled the verdict over in his head.

In the crowd Hinata and Naruto were scared stiff for their friend "Oh, Naruto-kun, what if they send Shino-kun to jail? It'll crush Hana." Hinata said seeming sad.

Naruto felt uncomfortable seeing Hinata so sad, so he tried to think of something to say to make Hinata see that everything would be okay, but he couldn't think of anything, until he remembered something Jiraiya had said one time during their training that made women feel safe.

Hinata was surprised when she felt an arm on her shoulder, realizing it was Naruto's she blushed, but managed to stay conscious. Soon she found herself leaning into him, as they basically cuddled in the middle of the court room. "Naruto-kun." She whispered her heart racing.

"It'll be okay Hinata, I promise." Naruto said giving Hinata a one armed hug, glad that Jiraiya had taught him something about women that was applicable in this situation. But he couldn't help but think that maybe this had to do with something perverted like most of the sage's lessons, however, right now, the only important thing was that it made Hinata feel better.

"Not guilty!" the judge called across the court room.

"NO! Come on! Send him to jail!" The lawyer cried out.

"Why are you so adamant on wanting me to go to jail? I'm not a pedophile!" Shino said shocked that the man thought he was a pedophile still.

"Of course you're not a pedophile. None of that was convincing evidence for anyone with half a brain." The lawyer said as if it were obvious.

"Then why did you want me in jail?" Shino asked shocked.

"I wanted your pants!" The lawyer said crying "My pants aren't as fancy as the pair you're wearing… and pants are all I have in life!" The man literally soaked the floor with his tears.

"You… had me spend the night in jail… for pants?" Shino asked in calm disbelieve.

"Ye-e-es…" The lawyer cried now on the floor in the fetal position.

"Hana… leave… Uncle Shino has something to take care of; I'll play with you later." Shino said as bugs started to pour from his body.

"Okay, have fun with your friend. By Waterfalls." Hana said as she walked back to her Daddy.

"Oh hey Hana." Naruto said when he noticed her, Hinata seemed to tense up at the mention of Naruto's daughter.

"Hey Daddy, Uncle's gonna play with his friend, then he'll come hang out with me." Hana said looking at Hinata's blush, Tomato didn't begin to describe the shade of red she was.

Hinata meanwhile was having an internal debate, torn between doing what her heart desired, and her crippling self doubt. She decided to do it.

Her blush, glowing like a sun, rose as she leaned upwards and attempted to kiss Naruto "Come on Hana, let's go." Naruto said getting up causing her to kiss his shoulder "Oh, sorry Hinata, didn't see you getting up too, you okay?"

Hinata's confidence faded as she merely nodded "Yes… I'm… fine Naruto-kun." She didn't let her disappointment show 'Son of a mother fucking bitch!' Hinata shouted in her head, though her outward appearance was of the shy girl everyone knew.

"Hey Hinata?" Naruto asked.

"Y-y-yes Naruto-kun?" Hinata asked, her stutter returning, now that she was out of the comforting embrace of her love.

"Wanna go get some lunch with me and Hana?" Naruto asked, wanting to celebrate Shino's freedom.

"Y-yes Naruto-k-kun, I'd like that a lot." Hinata said, more than happy to go on a family outing with them.

"Shino? You wanna come to lunch?" Naruto asked, remembering him suddenly.

"No… I'm gonna… bug this guy… for a second…" Shino said using bug as a euphemism for beating the living hell out of the poor soul.

"Okay!" Naruto said as he lead his adopted daughter and his good friend out of the court room for a treat of Ichiraku ramen.

* * *

A/N: Okay, this chapter wasn't as long as I wanted it to be, but several of the things I wanted in here got cut because they didn't make sense even after several re-writes. Well, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. For those interested, shortly after writing the first chapter of this fic, I met a girl named Hannah, who is currently my best friend. Appreciate the irony, or I will find you, and eat your nose. Also, I'm on face book now, if anyone wants to friend me, I'm Jerry White [not my real last name] with a picture of Bill Overbeck as my profile pic.


End file.
